The Enemy

The Chill
Seems to be ever consuming at times
Enemy of the cold nights
Tranquil in the silence
But the sun sometimes swallows me too
I wasn’t running
I didn’t know I should have been
I wasn’t running

And sometimes you’re like a rubix cube
And I am just like anything else that dances in the wind
I’ve started holding onto things again
The things I’m in fact trying to throw somewhere else;

Do you ever wonder
What it would have been like
If we weren’t so sure
If we met any later would we have grown together?

Sometimes
I see you in my dreams the way I used to before we met
And it is almost more real than seeing you in person
Delusions on overdrive
How foolish of me
What we didn’t know didn’t hurt us;

Sometimes the enemy is sly
It tiptoes so beautifully on the leaves and sticks and acorns
The sounds almost blend into the trees
And I close my eyes
And it closes its eyes
And the sound is gone
I have lost to the way the river looks back at me
I am ashamed
But not enough
Maybe nothing will ever be enough
Voluntarily
Looming colors
I must learn so much

And there is so much to say to you
Yet when I finally look at you all I can muster are tears
And I will never be good for you
The way I want to be
I don’t know if anyone will

I want to be gone again