deepundergroundpoetry.com
Surrender
Mysterious eyes as vibrant as the deep oceans,
Brilliant hair that outshines the sun;
Strong hands that are lethal with a blade,
Yet soft and gentle on my skin.
-
Tall and straight and full of pride,
His voice like music caressing my keen ears;
Incredibly fearless and full of wisdom,
It’s no wonder why I fell for him.
-
I surrender to this Godsend from above,
The very embodiment of true love;
My soul sparks to life in his presence,
In this cursed land he’s my piece of heaven.
-
I rise from the depths of the abyss,
To seek out the light that he emits;
I’m blind and scattered without his grip on me,
Warm seems the candle to one who has never felt the sun.
-
My heart, mind and soul belong to him,
I can’t imagine my life with anyone else;
He’s the one who makes my soul feel complete,
He’s my eternal light, always shining.
-
I surrender to this Godsend from above,
The very embodiment of true love;
My soul sparks to life in his presence,
Our bond grows stronger as I take in his essence.
Brilliant hair that outshines the sun;
Strong hands that are lethal with a blade,
Yet soft and gentle on my skin.
-
Tall and straight and full of pride,
His voice like music caressing my keen ears;
Incredibly fearless and full of wisdom,
It’s no wonder why I fell for him.
-
I surrender to this Godsend from above,
The very embodiment of true love;
My soul sparks to life in his presence,
In this cursed land he’s my piece of heaven.
-
I rise from the depths of the abyss,
To seek out the light that he emits;
I’m blind and scattered without his grip on me,
Warm seems the candle to one who has never felt the sun.
-
My heart, mind and soul belong to him,
I can’t imagine my life with anyone else;
He’s the one who makes my soul feel complete,
He’s my eternal light, always shining.
-
I surrender to this Godsend from above,
The very embodiment of true love;
My soul sparks to life in his presence,
Our bond grows stronger as I take in his essence.
Written by
LunasChild8
Published 25th Feb 2018
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 1
comments 44
reads 1093
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The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Re. Surrender
25th Feb 2018 10:44pm
Re: Re. Surrender
28th Jul 2018 10:43pm
Hey Lawrence. I'd appreciate you voting for my poem in the "romance [36th Co.]" competition.
Re: Re. Surrender
25th Feb 2018 11:38pm
Re: Re. Surrender
28th Jul 2018 10:43pm
Hi OhComedy. I'd appreciate you voting for my poem in the "romance [36th Co.]" competition.
Re. Surrender
25th Feb 2018 11:56pm
Re: Re. Surrender
28th Jul 2018 10:43pm
Hey TylerZ. I'd appreciate you voting for my poem in the "romance [36th Co.]" competition.
Re. Surrender
Anonymous
- Edited 28th Feb 2018 4:03pm
28th Feb 2018 4:02pm
wow...this is so beautiful girl:) thanks for being so sweet and welcoming a Canadian sister, bad girl that I am..lol....and good..aren't we all??..I'm still pissed our girls lost to those damn yanks down south:) and I'm not even really an Olympic hockey fan...but it was the opponent....shhhhh...."wink".......
My favorite line of all is "Warm seems the candle to one who has never felt the sun."...among many ...you put in such poetic way what is all relative perspective..
R
My favorite line of all is "Warm seems the candle to one who has never felt the sun."...among many ...you put in such poetic way what is all relative perspective..
R
2
Re: Re. Surrender
28th Feb 2018 11:17pm
Thanks so much for your comment! I'm glad you liked it. Feel free to check out my other work. I'm not much of an Olympics fan either, and I didn't watch this year, so I'm ignorant as to what happened.
Stick around. ;)
Stick around. ;)
Re: Re. Surrender
Anonymous
1st Mar 2018 1:07am
You are most welcome and I didn't watch at all either..lol..just saw the highlights...the women's team, 3 time gold medalists from Canada lost to the US team for the first time in a shootout...
And I will stick around:)....not sure how often as I have a lot going on but so far seems like a really cool place to write...and read and learn..and I will definitely check out your other work...I can write very mysterious rhyme and metaphor too when the inspiration comes..thanks again sweetie....hugs
And I will stick around:)....not sure how often as I have a lot going on but so far seems like a really cool place to write...and read and learn..and I will definitely check out your other work...I can write very mysterious rhyme and metaphor too when the inspiration comes..thanks again sweetie....hugs
1
Anonymous
- Edited 26th May 2018 6:48pm
6th Mar 2018 2:32am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Surrender
7th Mar 2018 1:25am
Re. Surrender
8th Mar 2018 6:02pm
Wow.. This is breathtaking
Written from your soul
Intertwined with his, claiming
Him as heaven's gift
Much love ~rosegold
Written from your soul
Intertwined with his, claiming
Him as heaven's gift
Much love ~rosegold
1
Re: Re. Surrender
9th Mar 2018 1:29am
Re: Re. Surrender
28th Jul 2018 10:44pm
Hey rosegold. I'd appreciate you voting for my poem in the "romance [36th Co.]" competition.
Re. Surrender
9th Mar 2018 9:03pm
Ah such a sweet surrender ... I felt it along with you. Nice poeting dear poetess
1
Re: Re. Surrender
9th Mar 2018 9:10pm
Re: Re. Surrender
28th Jul 2018 10:44pm
Hey LDF. I'd appreciate you voting for my poem in the "romance [36th Co.]" competition.
Re. Surrender
12th Mar 2018 9:01am
N surrender you did, as in ur heart ink spilled love! Very deeply romantic musings... :)
1
Re: Re. Surrender
28th Jul 2018 10:44pm
Hey Poetikmind. I'd appreciate you voting for my poem in the "romance [36th Co.]" competition.
Re. Surrender
Dear moonchild...
in the relatively brief time since I’ve embarked on a journey through your ink & verse, certain familiars do I hear, see & feel that to me speak of the character of your poet’s voice. When readers recognize a poet’s “voice”, they’ll recognize you in everything you write... even years later.
🌜🐅
in the relatively brief time since I’ve embarked on a journey through your ink & verse, certain familiars do I hear, see & feel that to me speak of the character of your poet’s voice. When readers recognize a poet’s “voice”, they’ll recognize you in everything you write... even years later.
🌜🐅
1
Re: Re. Surrender
27th Mar 2018 5:37pm
I certainly hope that readers recognize my "voice" as something positive and with a sense of hope.
Thanks again for another comment, Jade. I truly appreciate it.
Thanks again for another comment, Jade. I truly appreciate it.
Re: Re. Surrender
27th Mar 2018 6:45pm
You’re most certainly welcome, Luna. And when one speak’s of a poet’s “voice”, this often refers not only to what you say in a poem, it’s especially how you say it, as if it’s the tones & inflections you’d use if the reader has actually heard you say the words/ lines/ stanzas. Over the years, one “for instance” I can give you that readers would say about mine is of a lyrical quality (I’ve been referred to as a lyrical poet (Edna St Vincent Millay was one such-known poet), with others speaking of the “music” in how i’d often express. So if you strive for readers to come away with hope in a positive way, this is from the message of your poem. It’s “how” you express the entire poem (and others you write) that comes from your “voice”. That voice will impart a quality unique to you, as mine is to readers who have & will come to know it. I hope that helps, dear.
🌜🐅
🌜🐅
1
Re: Re. Surrender
27th Mar 2018 6:52pm
Your words have certainly given me something to ponder upon. I never thought of my poems leaving a "voice" so to say. It's quite interesting.
Re: Re. Surrender
*smiles*
Well, it’s not something for you, the poet, to be conscious of. I never consciously try to make it happen. Just be yourself as you compose, that’s important. Be the poem. After all, it comes from you, so it makes sense that the poem is you. It’s the reader who will “hear & feel” it even if they’re not aware of this concept. So no need to actually ponder the voice, dear Luna. Like the moon, you are your reflections because of them.
🌜🐅
Well, it’s not something for you, the poet, to be conscious of. I never consciously try to make it happen. Just be yourself as you compose, that’s important. Be the poem. After all, it comes from you, so it makes sense that the poem is you. It’s the reader who will “hear & feel” it even if they’re not aware of this concept. So no need to actually ponder the voice, dear Luna. Like the moon, you are your reflections because of them.
🌜🐅
1
Re: Re. Surrender
27th Mar 2018 7:20pm
Re: Re. Surrender
28th Jul 2018 10:45pm
Hello, dear Jade. I'd appreciate you voting for my poem in the "romance [36th Co.]" competition.
Anonymous
- Edited 13th Sep 2022 5:45pm
12th Apr 2018 6:09am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Surrender
12th Apr 2018 8:18pm
Re: Re. Surrender
28th Jul 2018 10:45pm
Hey Nathaniel. I'd appreciate you voting for my poem in the "romance [36th Co.]" competition.
Re. Surrender
19th Apr 2018 2:18pm
Re: Re. Surrender
19th Apr 2018 2:45pm
That's your personal opinion. I think it's perfect.
Thanks for your comment.
Thanks for your comment.
Re: Re. Surrender
28th Jul 2018 10:45pm
Hi sirBoring. I'd appreciate you voting for my poem in the "romance [36th Co.]" competition.
Re: Re. Surrender
31st Jul 2018 4:17pm
I'm only commenting on poems. I've actually already determined winners for the contest, but it won't let me determine the winners. it's quite upsetting, which is why this competition might be my last.
0
Re: Re. Surrender
31st Jul 2018 8:37pm
I understand you not wanting to vote since you're the host, but your comment begs the following question: if you already have a winner in mind, why did you put your competition up for public votes? It's a waste of time and will undermine the votes if you end up choosing a winner.
Re: Re. Surrender
1st Aug 2018 11:59pm
contests, which aren't judged quick enough, are automatically set to accept public votes. I was too slow in determining winners.
0
Re. Surrender
31st Jul 2018 4:15pm
I didn't like the theme of religion here much. I like the poem title's emphasis throughout the poem.
0
Re: Re. Surrender
31st Jul 2018 8:39pm
Fair enough that you're not a fan of religious themes, however, my poem's strictly of the romantic genre.
Re. Surrender
25th Jul 2024 9:17am
I really like the way you phrase your poems. It's eloquently written, and it truly drives the point home. Enjoyable as always.
0
Re: Re. Surrender
25th Jul 2024 12:21pm
Re: Re. Surrender
25th Jul 2024 12:41pm