Down But Never Out

So many times I  
Picked up the pen and paper
Wrote you all letters of why
Smiling faces masked
Feelings never shown
Hid deep inside
Festering for years  
Slowly killed me from the inside
Held the pistol  
In my trembling hands
While tears streamed down my face
Dangling my legs off the side of the bed  
Like it was the edge of the Tallest skyscraper in the world  
That I happened to call life
I tried to reach out
I tired to be heard
They wouldnt listen
Had their own agendas
I looked at my sleeping daughter  
Whom deserves so much more
Than what I was going to do
Saved me  
By waking up
Leaping to the floor
Putting the pistol away  
I wrapped her in my arms
And told her how much I loved her
How she deserves a happy and well mommy
So on that day  
I opened my eyes
And changed my life
Never to return to those thoughts of the easy way out