Messages (1)

At the dawn of my life I entered innocent and small.  
I was happy, you could hear my laugh from down the hall.  
But then I was introduced to the cruel manner of man.  
Every piece of innocent joy was overcome by fear and ran.  
From infancy I had a message to hear.  
My Message of Fear.  
 
At the age of 7 I made an interesting choice,  
I chose to use my knife as my voice.  
The painful sting of the wound was so real,  
Finally, I found something I could feel.  
Feeling, what a gain.  
My Message of Pain.  
 
A fist to the jaw and I feel the sharp sting of bone on bone.  
I wish someone just saw how I was unsafe in my own home.  
It was seen, seen and ignored.  
They were the angel child who all adored,  
So they covered their doubt with a smile.  
My Message of Denial.  
 
Hot, hot and disgusting.  
Pressing, pulling, thrusting.  
His selfish hands expecting more than my body could give.  
Pinned to a bed is no way for a 4 year old to live.  
Never satisfied, again, he simply must.  
My Message of Lust.  
 
A scratch on the surface is no longer enough.  
My whole side is now course and rough.  
My hand is not complete without my knife.  
When I feel weak it reminds me of life.  
It becomes my religion.  
My Message of Addiction.  
 
The haunting touch comes to me again.  
Will I be nothing but a toy until the end?  
I thought I would have some great purpose or calling.  
But this world is drenched in new sexual dawning.  
Is this all I was made for? Is life not so complex?  
My Message of Sex.  
 
"I can't stop you" written all over my back.  
"No" the only word my vocabulary did lack.  
"You're so pretty" screamed from every mans face.  
"I'll f**k you up then leave you fully disgraced."  
Isn't that a lovely image for ya?  
My Message of Paranoia.  
 
I can sense it before I see one.  
A person lustfully hunting someone.  
The victims too, I know when they're near.  
Their pain bleeds out, I can see their fear.  
This discernment drives me to insanity.  
My Message of Humanity.  
 
Never was I safe at home.  
But the fault is my own!  
It was their harmful choice,  
Yet, I could not find my voice!  
I know somehow I hold all the blame.
My Message of Shame.