silent self destruction

put a gun in my mouth
but didn't pull the trigger
with fear my lips trembled
and tears streamed down my face
across my mind the world flashed
brilliant colors of blue and green
swirling into shadows of black and grey
faces appear then spiral away
casting demon smiles
dashed by the shuffling madness
lights splash into my eyes
like liquid fire burning visions into my mind
hemorrhaging into my psyche
clots of reality clog my sanity
rational thoughts no longer flow
but are cast into the madness
lost forever within the shadows
the world happens... life runs... flows
twisting... turning and spinning
contorting itself into a sinister form of reality
life moves at an alarming rate
dashing here to there
turning itself inside out and back again
exposing its inner workings
the heart has a voice and it screams
silently sometimes bursting at the seems
thoughts have fluidity
acidic and corrosive
burning holes though the brain
the heart the emotions
clinging the soul and scorching the spirit
words have life... breathing
spitting poison in the face
of anyone who will listen
breathing fire upon ice
cold hearts turn molten only to freeze again
aching and frostbitten
scalded but still beating
the twisting darkness bores through my head
creating tunnels and paths that bleed
blood flows free
each new hole path or tunel
a memory that should be forgotten
a past that spits in the face of the present
poison that is absorbed... ingested
regurgitated and swallowed again
dissolving and devouring everything
tearing through... ripping and slashing
thoughts as sharp as razors
silent self destruction