Crimson Curtains

Early twenties, life's heavy  
All thoughts of happiness are dead and buried  
External and internal pressures, they stress me  
The harder they hit, the harder the heart in my chest beats  
It pounds in the hollow, and pounds out the sorrow  
The pain threatens to surround me and swallow  
Like a python or anaconda, and I wonder  
I'm not a believer in it, but is it karma?  
Are my blunders catching up with me? I shudder  
To discover, coz since I broke from my bubble  
I've been a maker of trouble, mind in the gutter  
I've been a luster, been a greedy lover  
I may have broken some hearts and left a couple punctured  
But never been into drugs, never been a drunkard  
I've tried to be a good guy, but it seems like that good is smothered  
And covered by a crimson veil, or crimson shutters  
Crimson shutters  
 
Early twenties, believer in true love  
Potential of a hopeless romantic, the poet that you love  
Modern day Romeo, though they paint me as Pablo Picasso  
A charming artist, with a heart cold  
Got girls calling me a player, but falling for me anyway  
They hear rumours, and gossip 'bout me everyday  
But still catch feelings for me in any way and every way  
And get mad as soon as they see me fade away  
And turn into Mike Phelps when I see bridges burning  
Those are the actions that they misinterpret  
That they use to turn the rumour mill, different versions  
Of the same story, now their view of me is tinted by crimson curtains  
The view is tinted, whether internally or it's external  
And I'm trying to meet expectations, but it's a burden  
Especially when the highest expectation is internal  
It's exhaustive, you feel like a victim cursed and  
You wish you were a different person