Memories and Fantasies

Are all that remind me

of the history we pretend

we don't share.  Hiding behind

blind beliefs that he will

never know.   Yet while in

my arms, you stare into my

eyes, and I see your crystal blue

gaze feeding me my hearts grasp.

Circumstances decide that we rush

into this moment so familiar, sinking into

a kiss as currents flow through

my pacing heart, a gentle touch to

my cheek, and I can't help but

melt into you as our lips

explore with a lingering touch, only

for you to back away with a hand

holding my heart. With a look that

reads perfectly clear...another time

another place.  Hurt replaces lust

as you walk away. Away from me and

back to a real life with real love between

a man and a woman.   With a glance back,

and a troubled look...a tremor cascades

down my spine...but I know..

I will wait for you

Cause I love you

Memories and Fantasies

are all that remind me

of a history we pretend

we don't share.  Hiding behind

blind beliefs that this will one

day stop.    That the love we hide

will no longer force us into each

others arms like it has so many

times before.   Late nights alone

I cry only to hear a soft knock at the

door.  Desire replaces the fear.

Whispers of soft nothings to my awaiting

ears, and I sink into your offerings.  Why

can't you see I offer you a true love

that he could never give you.   All

of this, all this time...all of me is

for you.   These moments we share,

in arms and legs, in exploration of

a forbidden fruit.  Stop the illusions.

Know I LOVE YOU! and you love me?

But I know your mind tells you this is

wrong, that this is a phase...a phase that

has been going on for years.   I know

you love me.  Your eyes cannot lie nor

hide the true feelings you have inside.

The way you make me feel, the way

you call my name...but I know...

I will wait for you

cause I love you

Memories and fantasies

are all that remind me

of a history we pretend

we don't share.  Hiding behind

blind beliefs that you someday

you will choose me over him.

Yet when I wake every morning

You are already gone, leaving my heart

to bleed in quiet desperation that longs to just

hold you and not cry.  Denying

that this could be the last time you

will come.   Suppressing my own fears,

that you will be gone, and this is the end.  

I don't want to lose you.  

All this time we shared, as friends, companions.

The secrets we shared, the lives we have bared.

Yet I know, my heart will be torn from chest,

crushed under the false hopes that we

could live a simple life together.  But

those are daydreams of us holding hands

not hiding this forbidden love.   A love

only best friends could have...a love

only two women could share.    

Our Desires, Our world, but I know

you are scared, scared to leave the life

that is normal, scared to disappoint

everyone, including your family.

Don't you think I understand?  Don't

you know I risk that too..and I risk

losing you.   I love you.   I love you

Unconditionally, I love you because

you are my soul...can't you feel it

everynight while in my arms.  Someday

there will be an us...someday but

I know...

I will wait for you

cause I love you.
Written by MatthewKult (Matthew Kult)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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