deepundergroundpoetry.com
Vibrations
If we don't
understand
the meaning
the sounds
of the words
that we speak
how can we understand
the thoughts
that we connect
to the words
when we speak
understand
the meaning
the sounds
of the words
that we speak
how can we understand
the thoughts
that we connect
to the words
when we speak
Published 7th Feb 2018
| Edited 10th Feb 2018
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
8th Feb 2018 5:18pm
10th Feb 2018 7:54am
9th Feb 2018 2:34am
Great punch. The flow is tight, meaning transparent but unanswered. Enjoyed it. You can drop almost 6-8 words IMO. Make it tight. ‘That’, ‘the’, are overly used. Drop words like ‘we’ after perhaps the first use. The audience knows. The last line should be one word: ‘spoken’. I feel less is more and how I see this poem ending.
Great poem!
Great poem!
10th Feb 2018 7:56am
