Put It Out There Bfore You Die, Sucker / 1.5 yr old cyber autobio-Communiqe to someone i don't recall

 




Yo, J_____..........
           My 'alter ego' on FB isn't very alter.  I'm more openly 'myself' than most people who FB.   What can i say ?  My pootery, fotography, & probably most prominently music.  I long ago got sick of the shit ye have to do to be 'successful' in art, ($$$).......i'm from BrooklynNY, but thru accidents of marriage, got stuck in Kanzass (whilst on my way to SF in 1971).......well, in the 1990's I got to be the proverbial 'big fish-small pond'  by founding & running the Coleman Hawkins Neighborhood Festival (1995-2008, tho i dropped out of all administrative functions in 2003),  I had weekly local radio shows between '92 & '99, & for a very loosely organized 'jazz group' had a fair amount of bookings for coffeehouses, weddings, parties, etc. I had two CD releases in 2001...."Tao & Grace" on Earthstar label, & "Handmade Topeka 1991-1998"........don't have any copies left, but most of the tracks are on youtube or soundcloud.  
     well, '99-'00 brought me Cardiac Adventures #1...5 heart attacks in 7months which were underdiagnosed, then led to a whopping sextuple bypass in May of 2000.  A miraculous recovery fueled by an amazing 'life partner'..........then lost her to bizarre circumstances in '03, which led to 7 yrs as a street musician, which made my devastated self to make enough $$ for room rent, & basic living expenses.   I had a partime job in corporate retail to keep me in health insurance, which, on the 10th anniv of my employment there, led to my being 'accused' of collaborating wit a long-gone manager to have "embezzelled" many years of health coverage from the blessed company....which was totally untrue.....they had been wanting to get rid of me for some time because i was always sending criticisms of bullshit marketing stuff to the home office (which they encouraged),  & then, in 2010, they made a publicity statement of a commitment to "going green"......months went by & nothing re: recycling proceedures had changed.  So I got fired on the day that I was supposed to be 'vested' in their retirement program.    HA!   amazing life-joke. So i started applying for disability shit. I totally thought cardiac adventures 'miracle' was gonna collapse any minute..........so, my daddy saved my ass as he was dyin & needed somebody to live with him, so there i went to the Outer Banks of NC to spend 11 months with the man who turned me out of his home some 39yrs earlier for being a 'communist', lived with him for 11months, uncountable dialysis sessions (his), & 2 amputations later(his), we was best buddies, & the he died. Serendipitously, within a short time after he died, my SSDI disability was approved.  A brother of mine, who i have almost nothing in common with, had recently been divorced will 90% custody of his 14yr old daughter, offered me a room 16miles from the ocean in exchange for my  payin 35% of his mortgage. so here i had the hunkydory life of a retired Florida beach bum, living in a small room in a "security" suburpan townhouse....better than livin alone, though most definitely 'out of my element'.......well, more, & totally different cardiac adventures led me to have to "cheat death" again 3 times in early in 2015.   Something about me, (I believe some psychic alteration incurred in my initial cardiac adventures has made it impossible for me to even a casually semi-intimate 'relationship'.....many have made like they were interested, then would disappear.   An uncannily consistent occurrence since the Elizabethan Tragedy of 2002..............okay...that's it, & what does any of it matter in the space of eternity................peace&blessings////dkzk


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dkzk2016, reissued 2018....fotOriginaleBYdankozak