Brainstorm

May 4, 2017 9:53 PM
Today was a day spent under the blankets, connected to the wall through my phone recharger, listening to one of the many guys that I love and thinking. A thousand thoughts or more spin around and mix together in a confusion very well known by the many depressed people out there. The feeling of discontentment, disconnection, delusions and floating is a big part of being sad. You never know if you're actually there or if it's just another daydreaming. It might seem unpleasant to feel misplaced and most of the times it actually is but some times it is simply void. These moments of detachment are very well appreciated for that's when you can notice everything around you. And it's funny that as you feel smaller and the bigger the world and the whole existence becomes you actually feel connected, belonging, as a tiny part of the whole. You feel important or at least real and free. You are a part of everything and you mean something, you don't belong necessarily to that one spot someone might have told you about, so you can belong anywhere. Anywhere is big enough for you and your fears, your incoherences and your noisy head. You can be whatever, whenever, wherever.
Loneliness gives you that, the sense of might and possibilities, the freedom of being yourself.
Sadness is fuel to these moments. Every feeling, every event is a puzzle piece of you and you can find beauty in it.
The need for connection is within all living things and yet it often forgets the connection to the self. Connect to yourself, know yourself and even loving yourself is possible.