Draining

This isn't the life I wanted
I often feel alone and abused
Left in my head
 to  hang onto memories
 That choke me up like a noose

I'm never enough
just told that I am
Why do I keep fighting
If nothing I do means a damn
I was your backbone when you were crumbling
Lost stumbling mumbling
Looking for direction
 the  love you desired
  A goal and a plan

Then you broke part of me
The man that always believed in you
That you could do anything you put your mind to
Now I'm expected to be strong for two
And I'm being crushed under the pressure of you

I remember everything
Even things worth forgetting
They lay in my soul fermenting
Causing anxiety and depression
I hate this
I know I'm spiraling
And you won't be there for me

I'm used to it
Now I just expect it
Dont ask me for love
If you can't give it