Shades of a lonely lover.

Sometimes I forget that this distance is not my enemy.
Sometimes I close my eyes and remember your scent, I can almost feel your lips on mine.
Sometimes it doesn't matter how unnecessarily complicated I am and I imagine you still want me.
Sometimes it doesn't hurt that you don't want me the same way I want you, exclusively, entirely, endlessly.
Sometimes you vanish from my mind and even though it's somewhat freeing, I still miss you.
Sometimes I imagine you're here with me, warming my heart, kissing my neck and then I remember you would never cross this distance to see me, you are never going to leave your comfort zone.
Sometimes I hate you for so absent-minded manipulate me this much and then it hits me that you never promised me anything.
Sometimes I wonder if it was a mistake giving you my heart but then again I remember, it was never mine to give.
Sometimes I hate myself for falling so deep while you're there beyond my reach, but still within my stupid imagination picturing you with someone else.
Sometimes I wonder why I still care.