A letter to the person that broke my heart
Dear whoever may be reading this,
I really can blame you for walking away.
It was all too much for you.
I know how you feel, I really do.
But do you know how I fee? Do you even care at all?
Why exactly did you leave?
Was it something I did, Or did you just get bored?
Was there a reason you just left me here to hurt?
The smile you wear just makes the sharp stinging in my chest worse.
I'm trying to move on, but I see a part of you in every person I meet.
I don't want to, but I'll go through my day with a lump in my throat, and tears stinging my eyes because all I want to know is why.
Why don't you want me?
Why did you promise me you'll never leave, and then you sneak out the back door claiming you still cared.
Why me? Why did you give me false hope?
I didn't ask for this y'know.
I didn't ask to wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air with my cheeks wet from the tears I was crying in my sleep.
The worst thing about all of this is that there was hope.
We both wanted each other, and one of us had to walk away.
I just wish we didn't have to.
Because your laughter was my medicine when I was in pain.
Seeing you made my day brighter when the sun would not shine.
Hearing your name sent goosebumps on my skin.
But now I lost it all.
Even if you weren't mine to lose.
I don't want to place all the blame on you, but it was my fault for staying.
For believing everything you told me.
For falling for those quiet nights.
for loving the idea of sneaking around with you.
for falling for those lips, and smile, and laugh.
For those hands that held on tightly to mine and those eyes that looked deeply into mine.
Whoever raised you, raised a good liar
because for a second there I actually thought you cared.
So thank you for the memories, I relive everynight, and for the breife moment of happiness.
I would like to say I wouldn't miss you or that I wounldn't wait for you, but we both know I would.
It kills me the most being your friend,
because at some point, it was more.
At some point I made you as happy as you made me.
Now I try to make you laugh just so I can smile. I try to run into you just so I can see you up close again.
I pretend to need your help just to look into those eyes again.
I'm hopelessly in love with you, but your aren't mine to love. I care about you imensly, but you aren't mine to care about.
I miss you so much... but you aren't mine to miss.