LOOSE LEAF GRIEF TRANSFORMED  (12–9-96, up all night with a migraine, Galveston Island, Texas)

  

see here  
this loose leaf    
grief    
quietly arisen  
comes    
into being  
again  
another page    
fell of age  
from somewhere    
deep  
unseen  within  
always so mystified  
again and again  
especially when  
aura borne thunderstorms    
surreally crack  
across my eyes  
in writhing  
kinetic    
migraine lines  
in a lightning  
bolted  
crown of thorns  
aurora  
borealis torn  
obstructing  
my field of vision  
like mystic flows  
of silk robes  
worn    
by shadow spirits  
in the wind  
slow motioned    
in their  
tai chi dance  
though aside from  
and despite  
these sudden    
unexpected  
occasionally disabling  
vascular shows    
at times  
i am prone  
or naturally compelled    
to complete erasure    
as well  
way out here  
upon these salty  
whispering shores    
all by myself  
alone  
where the solitude    
of living nature  
and the spirit    
of this sacred place  
well    
to me    
at least  
has shown me  
greater kindness  
and unconditional    
healing compassion  
beyond    
the less    
convincing  
anemic evidence  
and relentless  
trying tests  
of local humanity  
way out here  
where even    
the changing seasons  
more honestly  
emote and express  
their ever changing  
flowing temperaments  
in subtle changes  
of weather    
in howling winds    
breath  
over sand  
like sidewinder ghosts  
a blowin  
in the gypsied  
passions  
of violent storms  
so powerfully  
pushing out over  
or inland from  
off of this    
vast  salty  
wild  primal gulf  
as well in  
beautiful  
zen like days  
of utter tranquility  
and beauty  
here on this  
little sandbar island  
out here    
all alone by itself  
like me here too    
upon it  
miles off the  
mainland  
adrift in the gulf  
yet still  
somewhere between  
its chaotic clutter  
its historic story  
and its indigenous  
endangered  
serenity and calmness  
of all that  
which has    
been left alone    
theres still    
room enough left  
for my    
vital absorption  
and perpetual mosaicing    
into an    
ever deepening    
sense  
of my increasing  
inner clarity  
and slowly ripening  
innermost    
peace
through my
deeply attuned
unity  intimacy
and conscious oneness
with the living
spirit
and vital
life force
of this
truly sacred
elemental
place