Don't Understand

I see you everywhere
the wolf flash of your smile in the rearview mirror
the tremor of your hand
disappearing behind a pillar as the corner mounds

I pick up the pace.

I live in fear
of memories
of you.

I wake up screaming, remembering that night,
you took my innocence.
your touch lingers just as the last time
I feel your hand in mine telling me to hide.

suddenly, I am no longer treading circles on a rubber walk..
but in the air.

your bruises were healing
and I was clinging to the center pole of the Ferris wheel carriage
too afraid to look down.
and you are laughing so hard my scars nearly burst

the only time you ever saw me so afraid was that night
I was afraid of flying away..

but you didn't care.