Carnal  Knowledge

 
Being a born again virgin
I now find sexual terms confusing
Some are even misleading
Take 'Blow Job' why is it called
That when the opposite action
Is required it should be 'suck job'
She offered to give me head, I told
Her 'Look I've already got a head'
I didn't want another one wouldn't
Want to be known as two faced
'ejaculation'  doesn't James Bond
Have an ejaculator seat in his
Silver Aston Martin for getting rid
Of bad guys tossing them out of
The sunroof or is it the follow up
To the movie Terminator I can never
Remember. Tea-bagging I can only
Assume is making tea using tea bags
An erection is what the Japanese hold
Every 4 years to elect their leaders
A Boner is a knife used by a butcher
Doggie style is a bulldog with a leather
Jacket and shades, Dogging is a Scottish
Word for avoiding something so you
Could be dogging dogging. Swingers
Are my balls in a kilt. S & M is sales and
Marketing. Vibrator is the third sequel
To the movie Terminator - Vibrator the
World is saved by a black rubber battery
Operated cock. Twat rhymes with cat,
sat and mat. Gay just means happy
Fingering is what I do to my nose; rich
Pickings. Phallic is me two friends Phil
And Alec they are always together.
Wanking is Mexican royalty, Oral is
Just fuckers that talk way too much
Anal is just something that happens
Every year. 69 is just the age that I feel.
Viagra is a large waterfall. The Randy
Rabbit is a rabbit called Randy, nothing
 More. I now thing my hard on is for peeing
Over fences. I need a teacher to re-educate me
Anyone interested should apply in person