Hallelujah inspired

Ok,so i spent all morning re writing "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen because i love that song and it's poetry that struck god in the face. i hope you like it and if you have any suggestions to build on this let me know; i will be returning to this probably multiple times.
 
 
this is one of my favorite versions by Kate Voegele
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k29JxVCKBBM
 
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You know  
creations made with broken doors
lock pick tricks
and bleeding sores
we're not long for this world
so spend it wisely
existence hunts us one by one
throws us burning in the sun
from your death bed  
passion shoots right through ya'
 
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
 
 
Gods shake this world  
and us ants fall out
my lake water's clear  
beneath your fluffy clouds
i wanted more than friendship
and i knew that
this tender warmth
in me did rise  
to kiss those lips  
i'd cheat and lie
you broke my heart
oceans empty  
sent me sailing
 
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
 
 
sweet angels song
bring us spears of war
i lust for skin  
and that life you wore
i built a world  
and tore it all to pieces
i've heard your call  
and i've read your signs
i bottled up  
and i fed you lines
this mortar
from the brick wall i can't tear down
 
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
 
 
i cut you out when my soul was run
you strung me up when i had my fun
ghosts float in the bedroom  
shells where we once stood
i hung my head
and i stood to fight
i'd taste defeat  
and i'd see the light
a whisper on a breath
you see me fading
 
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
 
 
i question faith  
and burn worded books
i feel this love  
gaze like dirty looks  
these bullet holes lay empty  
cause you drained
and pulled the plug
i wake up longing
thoughts of you
my surrender flag
i humbly drew
my hands they shake
i'm glad at least i knew you
 
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah