Drink Me

I'm a wanderess, lone ranger
Never  
Staying in one place too long, too
Afraid of attachment
With a silver, alluring tongue
And green eyes that analyze, diagnose,  
Understand
What most don't  
Of the way humans act and behave  
A borne manipulator fearful of her own white
Lies,  
Comparable to a sociopath  
With empathy and morality  
 
Broken family,  
Shattered relationships,  
Bloody and bruised knuckles
Above scarred wrists  
Silence is my weapon, along  
With words and letters I intertwine  
To seduce and comfort
I breathe content, serenity  
Into their lungs, for nothing but to see
Them walk without burdens in their eyes  
While staining my own throat  
With smoke and hopelessness
 
Gentle but always restless,
Soft and maternal, never shouting at a child  
And never scolding for what is not their fault  
But screaming,  
Screaming at those who twist harmful lies
And see nothing but theirselves  
Despising the selfish
As I give up everything for those I love
 
I often wonder in fear,  
If I am the narcissist, if I am the one in the wrong  
I ache for touch, for care, to be loved the same way I have  
Loved others  
Yet bruises stained my skin years ago  
And they demand to not be ignored, never fading
Perfection in studies, education,  
Begging honor scouts
My combat boots echoing  
And a cigarette reaching my lips  
Cold lives in my heart  
But fire and lava in my veins  
For I've done some things that I can't
Speak
Is my mind warped?  
I frighten myself.  
Will I feel this forever?  
Should I be back in the mental hospital?
Am I crazy?  
Am l like him?  
Am I like her?  
I never know.
I never know.
I never know.
I never know.
I never