Find Me On The Battlefield
I have seen what the darkness does.
I have run through the madness, trying not to feel the cold, with my hands covering my eyes.
I have traversed the hollow coves of my soul, where the echoes of the shots fired from my past, ring out.
I have unsuccessfully navigated my carnival of rust.
I have been under the definitive night sky where light and hope was camouflaged and the colors were disguised.
I have lost debates to my philosophical demons.
I have been through the darkest parts of my self and have the bruises, scars as reminders.
I have watched dreams that were smashed to pieces slip through the tightest of grips.
I have often felt that I cannot escape my fate.
I have been highly suspect and bare while living with the theories of a deadman.
I believed I was always wrong and had no answers.
I have known times where my only legacy would have been that was someday, I would be sleeping at last.
But, because I am me, I also knew more then my pain.
Even though it terrified me, I knew deep down that I had to say goodbye to who I once was.
I had to look back at the carnage of my life and see that there was good.
I had to remind myself about the days that were filled with good and remember that I smiled.
I had to take everything that I and so many others used to define me and throw it all over the cliff of doubt and judgement and watch it shatter on the rocks below.
I had to be brave enough to stand firm in my faith and know that through all the years of war within myself, I am still here.
I know that my battles are not yet over and the war still rages on but I also know that the battle does eventually turn and that is why I bleed.
So, for my internal demons and to all that doubt my fortitude and resilience, understand this clearly, this is a war that you can never win.
Know that until the world goes cold and because the sun truly never sets, you will find me on the battlefield.
Even if I stand alone, I am always ready to fight for what I believe in.
I am prepared to die for the man I am and for the man I have yet to be.