[ fAwL ] Aftermath

    
Sitting in an epsom salt bath aftermath    
with many a stream-lined tear      
clinging to snotted nose;    
     
cumulative wrath of sadness      
clotted, released, now flows    
effortlessly more so these days      
as I learn to cope with feelings    
in ways I've never felt before    
 
though often difficult to discern      
gossip of hope from fear    
when chatter of the latter    
woes as it outweighs    
common sense    
     
and what I'd rather experience:    
     
your soul uplifted    
in Joy and Happiness sheer    
from True Love gifted;    
tomorrow being today's      
Kingdom to come    
     
instead of pain and sorrow    
I inflict with insensitive praise    
in subconsious heapings of    
the ill conceived believed    
or through actions unjust      
to just plain fucking dumb    
     
My only recourse?    
     
Survive my own stupidity    
wear it as a merit badge    
if I must    
     
subscribe to the fierce    
force of nature that is Us    
and earn back what Trust    
was ultimately lost    
     
because I choose Love    
     
over bitter fruits of vines    
with their strangling shoots    
not drink of their wines---    
leave them unpicked      
ripened, to rot    
     
Let God kill them, roots    
and all in the end with a    
salting frost holocaust      
     
across scorched earth    
previously accepted      
as my lot