Sacrificial lamb

Maybe it's just karma hunting me down  
Because I can never be happy now  
Go ahead take it all from me  
Watch me drown  
I'll choke and suffocate  
On all our memories  
All are dreams  
And promises made to me  
I'll fade away  
It doesn't even matter tho  
Because I've always been nothing  
A sacrificial lamb for the hurting the used  
They Use me in return  
Taking from me my essence  
 leaving me empty  
suicidal and hopeless  
A Scavenger of human sorrow  
Picking at my heart and bones  until i have no marrow  
No soul  
Lips blue  
 dead cold  
   
 Im just a tool to be used  
Then when not needed forgotten  
Left in the rain cold,  
 buried like shame and forgotten  
 
Even when you spit venom blinding my soul  
The one you vowed  to love and hold  
I still hold out a rose  
As I bleed internally thinking she would stop if she knows  
My heart  
My  soul  
And compassion  
oxidize into iron  
Growing numb to the cold  
 
I once glowed  
 so golden once  
I rised.  
I shined  
I flew  
I've flowed  
 You don't know a half of me  
And will probably never see   
 
Why do i try tho to fight for this life  
You just hate me I can feel it  
Remorse anger guilt resentment  
It's easy to blame me for your anger  
Bitterness and hatred  
But the truth is were all fucking adults  
 in control of are own choices  
Honesty and loyalty  
Compassion and empathy    
The soul shattering words we plant in the minds  
 of are lovers  
Or enemies  
 
I'm not perfect  
And never claimed to be  
I've sinned  
Fucked up plenty actually  
I wear my battle scars proudly  
Fuck the world and what they think of me  
Or did to me  
Or anybody  
You Got a problem  
Get down on both knees  
and that's right  
 fucking  blow me  
I don't owe anybody  
I'm being me  
I'm not in it for popularity  
Or For our  fucked up society  
I was in it for us  
Thought we were on the same team  
But I guess it's just me  
Just worthless no purpose  
Not worth a second of a minute  
 
I just want  darkness to creep over me  
Its cold hands choking me tightly  
Nicely suffocating  
The feeling of peace in me  
The release of spirit  
Soon to be  
No pain with the living  
No hopes  
No dreams