Feminist Twist

Feminist Twist  
   
     My Gal, Mary, says, “You are high as Mt Everest you dirty boy.”  
     I gather my rosebuds. “Like yes, I’m high. But I’m never too out there to make love.”  
     Mary covers her eyes and does a Tai Chi repelling the monkey to push me away. “Get away from me you silly psychonaut. I can’t do it with you when you get those glassy eyes and cough. You’ll just have to wait till the pot wears off before you can have me in bed.”  
     I hold her dainty hand in my prayer fingers. “Oh please don’t be so small minded. I’m at my best in sex when I’ve been smoking the weed. Here let me unzip your jeans.”  
     Mary exerts kung fu force upon my chest until I crumple onto the floor. “Stop it! I mean it! I can’t stand that look in your eyes when you’re this high. It creeps me out. My jeans will stay on thank you.”  
     I bounce up and into her arms. “I’m perfectly normal when I’m on weed. I can shoot pool even better then.”  
     Mary bows me down with her hands pushing my shoulders. “Bullshit. You lie too much. I’m going to get a coke. Would you like some pizza while I’m at the fridge?”  
     I proposition her like a Neanderthal. “Oh, yea baby. Pizza would really be nice. And when you’re finished I could use a foot rub.”  
     She unbuckles my belt. “Hey watch it buster. I’m a feminist you know. I’m not your servant.”  
     “Are you getting horny?”
     “Naw just fidgety.”
     I do a doughnut with a turnabout of offers. “Well, then I’ll give you a back rub.”  
      Mary turns all mushy. “That sounds nice. But you get carried away with those massages. You’ll have your grimy hands on my ass in no time. I see the lust in your eyes. You can’t trick me.”  
     “Oh no, darling. I won’t do your gluts. That is unless you want me too.” Her knots need undoing.    
     Mary beams like a girl at first communion. “Well, you know after sitting all day at the computer I could use a butt rub too. But don’t make any weird sounds while you’re doing it. I don’t need that tonight.”  
     We pedal into the final lap. “Scouts honor. I’ll be quiet as a church mouse. Just lay on your stomach on the bed. Honey your ass looks better every year. But you’re tight. Here I’ll work that tension out. I can tell you are enjoying this.”  
     Her bottom flexes like a woman on her first motorcycle ride. “Oh you know my sweet spots. Work me down lower. Oh, yea. I like that.”  
     Her buttocks clench like a ten-speed rider on an uphill stretch. “You never could resist my butt rubs. You’ll feel like a new woman when I’m finished with you.”  
     Mary inhales the cannabis scent on my lips. “I already do lover man. Hey, I’d like to take some tokes on that reefer of yours.”  
     I light a joint for her pleasure. “Sure here you go sweetie pie.”  
     She reaches for my zipper instead of the reefer. “I don’t mean your marijuana. I want that stogie between your legs. Whip it out, hubby. I’m suddenly in the mood.”  
     I lay the joint on the ashtray hoping for a contact high for us. “You sure this doesn’t conflict with your women’s lib?”  
     She frees my big stick which grows even larger under her rubdown. “Honey even feminists need a thick doobie from time to time.”