Lonesome Years

I guess I've just floated astray, since birth,
going aimlessly with a loneliness that lingered.
But then started searching in need to fill the void. A person?
A passion or purpose? couldn't find neither at the surface.
There wasn't a thing that filled the void perfect.

Feeling forever lost,
But all of my cycles and loops became clear, eveything else was blurry.
I dared look closer at the distorted world,
because I thought I might have seen myself looking back.

After I jumped in, it felt like there was this chain around my ankle
with an anchor that kept sinking deeper down into more shadow.
a rabbit hole felt like a black hole, I didn't put up a battle.
Never felt the need to struggle.
Didn't let go off many bubbles,
so you couldn't really tell where I've gone.
Felt like I had to hold on, that's why I held my breath for so long.

I fell deeper down the bottomless ocean.
The rising pressure numbing away all my emotions.
Didn't really have to cope with feeling frozen,
plus I got too tired to keep my eyes open.

When I arrived, I could clearly see my inside, I got to know myself too.
I know now that we would never relate, that's why I repelled you.


Started to resonate with nothingness,
a reality to make sense of this fucking mess.
It's beautiful, a distant place where you suffer less.