Maybe or sadness ? I don't know

I’m depressed or pressed under
under the water and I can’t breathe

but still
these words come out
but they make no sound
or do you listen? have you found?

found what I lost or who I am

I am your friend or try to be
yet still no hands are hugging me

when I’m alone and reach for help

but help is what
I’m used to give
and though I try to save the world
I did not save the one I miss the most

the one I mean
I miss my dad
with every breath my heart feels broke
but still I’m standing
which gives me hope

so I am sad or really mad?
mad that I can’t save him anymore
but I won’t give up to try at least

I’m in tears right now
and out of luck
I want to reach you cause it makes me ill
that you might think
what the fuck

but since you’re with me
through this stage
there is still hope
that this might change

I’m still in love with her
and I ever will
that raging little fireball
that makes everything silent

silent inside my head
even all the chaos
and even dead

those things are true
and you might not understand
I just want the best for her
even though she would probably never know
know that it was not weakness
to let her go

even though I craved for her
during the time
when it was most difficult
and even now I am not fine

but where is this going
what do you want
just to talk to you
and being upfront

upfront about who I am
and who I’m not
this world is so messy and yet we can improve
prove that we can
listen to each other
make a difference
change the world

I might not change the world
but maybe I will
I won’t stop fighting
this shit is raw
a world of sadness and lots of flaw

a world where likes are so important
subscriptions, followers, retweets
don’t want your likes or clicks
I want your time and no more tricks
all I want is someone that can relate to me
to these words that you still see

and yet you see?
do you see me?

maybe not
but that’s ok
there is still time you have the choice
just spent your time
and in the end
I might be happy to hear your voice