Abandon-ship

You know me, I always try to keep up with everyday life
Try to navigate my way through the rough and heavy days and nights
Try to barely survive, some days it may suffice
On other days, I hate my life
That's why I look for comfort in companionship
A bit of shade when the heat of this savannah hits
Smooth sailing at first, things advance a bit
And then it's always the same: I abandon ship

Now I've been searching for friends in different kinds of places
Some of them weren't places where my mind was aiming
But find 'em I did, real diamonds of men
Ladies too, I had a liking for them
And vice-versa, I could see the kindness within
That they instilled in me when I was lifeless and dead
Patient and calm, they gave advice to your man
While others were there to help me brighten up quick
But, deep inside I'd still feel like a mess
Problem is that people were only seeing my best
While my inner problems were simply being suppressed
More problems that could never be freely expressed
Coz every single time I tried, I'd self-destruct
Spiral down and struggle for days to get back up
Like a ship about to sink in like an hour or two
In such a storm, what you expect a coward to do?

On the surface it appears to be a cowardly move
But I feel a calm in me as I'm drowning out in the blue
Within a minute, I'm no longer just a floundering fool
I float back to the surface, I'm out of that mood
My biggest fear was that this makes your boat feel unsteady
The upheaval that I bring in your life, it can't be healthy
I can't make you a victim of what I go through, you see
So I had to protect you from me

That's why I slipped out the back...