In Your Honor Pt. 2

In Your Honor Pt. 2

Standing next to your grave doesn’t feel right.
I don’t care if what I’m about to say is not considered polite,
but the wrong man was taken that dreadful day.
It should have never happened that way.

You were the rock of the family, a man of great respect.
Now looking back on that day in introspect,
since then, I have failed you in every way possible.
I’ve failed so bad it’s almost comical.

The last time I wrote you I promised I would carry on your legacy.
Even though I have tried doing just that desperately,
I have come nowhere close.
I’ve failed that promise so badly it’s gross.
I’ve been a disappointment to you and to the rest of my family.
I’ve been stuck in limbo sub coming to my inner agony.
I’ve failed to advance and to claim your great throne.
What exactly I’m met to become is still unknown.

I thought I would have my life figured out by now,
but it makes sense I don’t since I’m not supposed to be around anymore anyhow.
I know you saw the potential in me.
I’m just not what you thought I would be.
I know you still watch over me and always have my back.
That’s probably the only reason why I haven’t sub come to these vicious attacks.
I hope you’re proud of me even though I’ve let you down.
I sure do miss not having you around.

You were my rock I leaned on when I was always feeling down.
You were the only beam of light I had growing up in my godforsaken home town.
All the card games we played I won’t ever forget.
Playing them now just isn’t the same.
It was met to be just me and you.
We both know that to be true.

The relationship we have is truly special.
The connection we share is on a whole different level.
I’ve talked to you three times since you’ve past.
I cherish those moments fearing they might be my last.
Even though you did correctly predict my future,
and told me things were about to go smoother,
I would still give anything to talk to you again.
I have a feeling that one day I will, I just wish I knew when.
I’m glad to know you’re doing alright and are in a good place.
I can’t even imagine what it’s like out of this realm, well beyond space.
I’m sure it’s a beautiful and a magical place.
I’m sure God fills everyone with his love and grace.

I still wish I was the man who was taken that day.
It would have been a lot less painful on everyone.
The entire town mourned your loss.
Five people would have showed up to bury me with a tiny cross.
The impact your death had was great.
The impact my death would have had is minimal.
With that said, I’m glad I’m the one who was with you during your final moments.
I don’t wish for anyone’s condolences.
I would have killed me even more not to have been there.
That really wouldn’t have been fair.
Even though that day is burned into my memory,
I don’t view it as a negative; I have it stored in my treasury.
The memories of you falling don’t faze me at all.
The memories of your lying on the cold, hard ground no longer drives me to alcohol.
I’m honored to have been the last thing you saw
as the world around you turned completely black.
I miss you every day with everything that I contain.
I miss you so much it becomes heart piercingly painful during the pouring rain.
I loved you then and I still love you now.
I promise for you one day I will take a bow
as I finally ascend to the crown you have left behind.
I’m done being lost in darkness and not right in the mind.
I’m here now and focused on carrying your legacy on.
I promise I will make you proud Don.
Forever your grandson, your friend and your spirit,
I will not let you down.
Forever my hero, my role model, my muse,
I will not let you down.
Continue to rest in peace until we meet again.
Until that time, I will not let you down.