Crushed to Dust

That image of you is burned into my head
Your wide, bright eyed smile at the table with the menu in your hand.
Only this time, I didn't take that picture.
That smile isn't for me this time.
It's for him now.

 You put my soul under your soles and crushed it to dust.
But the crushed dust still lusts for you.    
It lusts for that smile that makes my heart do jumping jacks in my chest for hours.
To hear you say you love me again even though it was a lie the first time.
But that's fine.

I feel like I should hate you for giving me unrealistic expectations.
But it was those expectations that gave me the sensation I've always been craving.
So, in a sick way, I still love you.
Even though you used me like a drug without suffering any withdrawals.
I still love you.