Now that I am gone.

If you truly knew me, then you’ll always feel me in all the joys that resided on the outside; in the many things that I found pleasure in: An eclectic tapestry of both beautiful and enigmatic things which intrigued, and made my spirits soar. If you truly knew me, you’ll always feel me in your quiet moments, now that my words have faded away.  

Some of you will discover me, now that I am gone, and understand me in retrospect, see me through the memories of others or awaken to the epiphany that was my heliotropic life. Oftentimes humans are blind to each other, and only truly see and appreciate another when a life is snuffed out. I hope that you take the time to truly understand the meaning or purpose or significance of others who are still with you and not wait until they pass.  
I hope that I appreciated you enough, and spoke life and love into and over your life. If I wasn't consistent in being there for you, I hope that you cherish the times I was, and find comfort in those memories. I hope I done and was enough. If you are listening or reading these words, I trust that my life in yours meant something. Your presence in my absence today, pays homage to that.  Now that you will never see or hear what I have to say ever again, beyond this piece, I hope you aren't too sad, but...  
.... that you see my smile in the golden hue of sunflowers, my thoughts in all my written pieces, the random ways I expressed what was in my head. I hope that when you hear my favourite songs, it emulates hugs from me; that when you hear rolling thunder, you'll remember my passionate stance about things that mattered to me, or my fears - and you'll smile; that you'll hear my calmest voice in the silence of a moonlit night.  
I hope that my beings and fates are fondly remembered, when you see Her Luna Highness, that you learn that everything passes when thinking on how I too waxed and waned; my constant change, my ups and downs; how I reflected light, garnering light from others, especially when I wasn't my sunny self all the time: revel in the lesson about how I shone brightly when my source was unconditional love; when I was truly free to be myself. Are you truly free to be yourself? Was my presence in your life... freeing?  
I hope that my life and presence left a legacy of wholesome ways I have touched your life. If I hurt you and was unkind, I hope that you're able to finally accept my apology. I know that I was not for everyone, but that I've striven hard to be compassionate, and when I failed, I did what it takes to make amends.  
Please don't miss me now that I am gone. Please celebrate me in sharing memories of me if it inspires others. My fallible, oftentimes silly self is no more, but I hope that you will not mourn, but instead celebrate and hug the best parts that was me, and remember:  
You have enduring strength, you have the ability to retain your humour and courage throughout life's many battles. Use the time you have wisely. Please do and say what matters most.  
I truly have.  
Written by SweetPurgatory (SashaR)
Published | Edited 27th Aug 2020
Author's Note
Shoo... I am always worried that my life will end without me having expressed these words, so I put them down in writing...
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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