A Few months at home

Leaves are turned over,
although they still look the same.
Questions are ignored,
In a climate that's reaching boiling point.
Blame wanders around
with a little bounce in her step
And anger is always upset.
Raking cut grass,
and hating himself.
The toxicity levels are way 2 high.

I did the math
And nothing adds up

Either I didn't carry the one over
Or the fingers I counted on wasn't enough.
Or I was blindsided,
by what's hidden in plain sight.

Let's just equate everything to X
The given formula,has been tampered with...
So these results won't make sense
No matter how I crunch these numbers.
Sometimes the best way forward,is to step back.

The universal laws
The hand of God.
The eternally unpredictable
Has brought me back here.
Where I don't know how to make myself small
Or to fit this mold.
Or how to be sorry for who I am.
And what I am not

I know I wear my skin too proud
and this stride is too loud
But its not to challenge you,or anyone
I don't wanna fight my way thru, every door
can't I just put a flower in the barrel of the gun,
say good morning to everyone.
and walk on

I never wanted this job
By nature its impossible to "rather not get involved"
Scorned
Skin made pink by a molten sun
Feels like some sort of hell is dripping  down on everyone
Making everything extra personal
As eyes,
run up and down the length of me.
Make measurements
for some sort of mathematical problem.

God forgive us
For the principles we've failed u in
For not defeating these childhood demons
Who've in the meantime made friends
Now I'm fighting legions

I haven't removed the log from my eye
Or turned the other cheek,
Instead I've turned my back
And have disgraced u in how I interact.
There is nothing more instinctive than survival.
But look how we die,in trying to stay alive.