China Doll

   
I refuse to be what I used to be, so many times in the past I was brought down on my knees, emotionally, physically, back then It didn’t matter to me all I could see was people lining up to beat down on me. They told me to stand up take it like a woman should, that all I did was for the good of them, like a bible hymn, they taunted me ritually, and back then I couldn’t see, what they apparently had to see, so they pounded down on me. You see? To be different took audacity, to be defiant enough to stand up and leave, they wouldn’t let me be. “How could we, she’s our perfect little rag doll in a box, don’t try to run away honey!”
 
Thrown into the walls, shoved down the stairs, hit with rubber balls, thrown in to the air, grabbed by the hair and dragged down the stairs while all the teachers stared; they didn’t care, why would they? They didn’t get paid to scare all the snares away, while a little girl was pinned to a wall every day. What were they to say “mind your manners and be polite, O.k?”
 
Imagine A sad thing happened, the china doll cracked, when it was the turning of the leaves she finally snapped. “Don’t worry; Sarah I’ll leave you be, but I thought you wanted to play with me, trying to run away now are we I thought that wasn’t a wise decision. Well at least that’s what you told me.” I don’t remember the rest, I think it was bloody, I blocked out the rest because I remember laughing so hard, nobody else thought it was funny!
 
I refuse to be what I used to be, I refuse to be what they used to be. They used to haters, dream takers, anything that could shake me, was pinned to me brutally. Now the truth is if I saw what they had to, I bet I would be, it would’ve destroyed me, eaten the inside of me. Mentally sane, the same as them, another blinded seer in the making; sadly, it all the same around the world. And not a lot of people to do the undertaking.