deepundergroundpoetry.com
the Sound of Scissors
shear snippets
that slinky and
smear into my ear
reminiscences...
of sneaking past bedtimes
and Kool- Aid kisses
pictorials...
of playing with my sisters
riding bikes
till we get blisters
lemonade arcade sound
of Pac- Man dying
in a game
the tang
of granny green
sour apples
our dreamy beamy
illuminated eyes
suckle summer shine
dramas and commas
distorted by ripples of time
as outlines
flicker through
my mind drift
from the sound of scissors;
of running through
water sprinklers
spiraling like twizzlers
sparking from the flint
of the sound of scissors
and my daughter's laughter...
that slinky and
smear into my ear
reminiscences...
of sneaking past bedtimes
and Kool- Aid kisses
pictorials...
of playing with my sisters
riding bikes
till we get blisters
lemonade arcade sound
of Pac- Man dying
in a game
the tang
of granny green
sour apples
our dreamy beamy
illuminated eyes
suckle summer shine
dramas and commas
distorted by ripples of time
as outlines
flicker through
my mind drift
from the sound of scissors;
of running through
water sprinklers
spiraling like twizzlers
sparking from the flint
of the sound of scissors
and my daughter's laughter...
Published 28th Nov 2017
| Edited 2nd Dec 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 5
reads 609
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
28th Nov 2017 10:21pm
2nd Dec 2017 7:58pm
28th Nov 2017 10:39pm
Beautifully circular, Dean. I absolutely love poetry such as this, where one tiny sound evokes a childhood memory lived through a child.
Pac-Man!!! We used to stop by convenience stores before Nintendo and play it!
Because you have requested honest critique, I would like to honor that with the following suggestions:
shear snippets
that slink, smear
into my ear
reminiscences. . .
sneaking past bedtimes
and Kool- Aid kisses
pictorials. . .
playing with my sisters
riding bikes
till we got blisters
the lemonade arcade sound
of Pac-Man dying
the tang
of granny green
sour apples
our dreamy, beamy
illuminated eyes
suckle summer shine ( wow! )
dramas and commas
distorted by ripples of time
as outlines
flicker through
my mind, drift. . .
from the sound of scissors;
of running through
water sprinklers
spiraling as twizzlers
sparking from the flint
the sound of scissors
and my daughter's laughter...
I've barely touched it at all, Dean. Simply revised some tenses, removed extraneous word age, and substituted/ inserted punctuation, etc, so that it flowed a bit more smoothly.
Please feel free to use as your own or tell me to go to hell! LOL!
Also, I Co-Direct a group called Honestly Crafted Critique for writers who seriously want to improve their craft ( myself included ). I hope you consider joining us!
Pac-Man!!! We used to stop by convenience stores before Nintendo and play it!
Because you have requested honest critique, I would like to honor that with the following suggestions:
shear snippets
that slink, smear
into my ear
reminiscences. . .
sneaking past bedtimes
and Kool- Aid kisses
pictorials. . .
playing with my sisters
riding bikes
till we got blisters
the lemonade arcade sound
of Pac-Man dying
the tang
of granny green
sour apples
our dreamy, beamy
illuminated eyes
suckle summer shine ( wow! )
dramas and commas
distorted by ripples of time
as outlines
flicker through
my mind, drift. . .
from the sound of scissors;
of running through
water sprinklers
spiraling as twizzlers
sparking from the flint
the sound of scissors
and my daughter's laughter...
I've barely touched it at all, Dean. Simply revised some tenses, removed extraneous word age, and substituted/ inserted punctuation, etc, so that it flowed a bit more smoothly.
Please feel free to use as your own or tell me to go to hell! LOL!
Also, I Co-Direct a group called Honestly Crafted Critique for writers who seriously want to improve their craft ( myself included ). I hope you consider joining us!
1st Dec 2017 3:38am
hmmph! well madam I am quite flabbergasted at the mere notion that my poetry contains imperfections.... lol,jk, I consider myself a beginner and willing to listen to make myself better, love the improvements, and yes I want in lol...
2nd Dec 2017 7:55pm
