First Love

Dean, my first love
Eyes dark in his wants
Kisses so slow and soft
He soothe away nightmares

Dean, gentle fingers
Lifts my hair from my face
Whispers kind  sweet promises
of life together in love

Dean, walked with me in the woods
holding my hands
Cuddling me in tender embraces
Kisses loving without darkness

Dean, when at last wanted me
Like a man and lover
Like a virgin he took me
Like its my first time ever

His lips on mine were like ether
His penis in my vagina like fire
His lips on my breast like ember
stoking my inner fire

The woods were our witness
That day  we  became lovers
Our laughter and joy rang
Like bell peals in a wedding

Dean and I, two misfits
victims of rape and abuse
Came together and fit
Like two halves of a heart

Days and nights went by
and the months went too
One day the nuns came by
and told a sad news during assembly

Dean died that night
riddled with gunshot
He had climbed the fence
which was an offence

At 15 he had wanted his freedom
From his keepers' lustful hands
He wanted our Kingdom
where love and life were in abundance

That day I died once more
Longing for death, tired and weary
Missing Dean, Life was a grey core
nightmarish, drab and dreary