Not Crazy

I am not the one who's crazy
but my two imaginary friends
and four satanic demons are.
So is my talking zebra, my pet
haggis called Hamish Macturk,
my army of teddy bears who
all talk to me and tell me to
do things, bad things, evil things,
not forgetting my therapist who's
 in therapy and my psychiatrist who's
in a pickle jar (or at least his head is)
Trust me I am totally fine and normal
and I will skin and decapitate anyone
who disagrees whilst singing:

"Is this the way to arm a dildo
every night I've been biting my pillow
wet dreams of arming my dildo
and sweet Marie who gags for me
(Duct taped to a chair in the fruit cellar)

sha la la la la la la la, cut, slice
sha la la la la la la la slash, chop
sha la la la la la la la
and sweet Marie who screams for me,....

"Oh no,...... Mother,........ Its blood,..... Its blood,...."