I don't want Wonderland~end game

 
I can say i'm clean today
& I don't desire meth
crave it yes
want it no

when the craving comes
I remind myself it's there for the getting
but why I don't want it anymore

it will always be there
if the world should get too hard
right now I want to be clean for the holidays
not high or coming down

so I stopped eight days ago
gave myself time to rest
when I wanted to create
but felt unable
I told myself it's okay
take care of yourself

when I counldn't drag myself out of bed
I allowed myself sleep
i'm feeling better now
not healed but better
& I know it can be done
so long as I want to be well

I know I like the high
but feel the price tag too heavy
the come downs too great

I don't want to get high today
just to come down that hard again

I no longer desire Wonderland
Alice can keep it