wounded soilder

I was told to be the strongest alive,a lie for i was just an easy target for their wars. born from a conceit trained to be brutal, always told the stories of how valor battles, shared the warm blood of many revenge,  yet a small part of me keen to probes, why o why I have to carry this burden of pride, they know me all as only a brute that has strong knuckles, but the brim of fear that burns inside no one cares.
 I too love a dream of soft touch, desire to smell the earth, to sleep under the sun, to smile with friend to dance with a woman, to play like kid in the rain.
with the sudden pain I open my eyes, I see only the infested scabs on my lifeless body, I feel enemies arms piercing thru me hopes, odor of half dead corpse surrounds me of familiar faces , I can see their eyes afar hidden in dirt that wishes to kill me in single strike, I hear their war cries that fills worries to my core,
ohh god please tell  me my fault to be dropped in this vat of liability. will I be lucky to walk back  home to my dears, or will I become one more nameless hero of their wars, please remember me as just a fellow from your neighbor dont hate me as a silent shadow of your despair.