Thinking with my dick

Whenever you leave me there  
On the brink of a break  
Numb and cold inside  
 from the venom that you spit  
All I do is regret you  
And I start missing her face  
She was so kind and sweet  
Life flowing by faster than a blink  
Two lost souls caught up in their dreams  
Hearts full minds creative  
Going on adventures  
And the way she looked at me  
Right in that moment I could die  
Happy with life and what i've achieved  
I feel so empty when you look at me  
Like I'm nothing  
 just a monster and you resent me  
I try so hard to make you see  
Buying you flowers and leaving notes of cute poetry  
But I still feel the freeze  
The cold jaded eyes looking back at me  
I don't know what I did  
You chose me  
I didn't want a relationship just something to fulfill my needs  
A fuck buddy  
A switch rope bunny that I çould fuck deep  
You laughed at me  
Saying you never catch feelings  
You keep it professional  
You know what your doing  
I said cool that's what I what to  
Let's do this literally, now  get on your knees  
I fucked your face just like you need  
Slapped my cock off your clit  
Saying who's your master lil kitten  
Who's my slut tell me who owns that pussy  
She screamed my name    
Lightning hits my brain  
Surging power to my veins  
I fuck the piss outta you  
Hard and fast  
She moans god fuck fuck fuck  
Your gonna kill me between deep  gasps  
Panting  
Legs quivering  
Pussy spraying  
Bitch speaking in tongues  
It's like there's a demon that I'm slaying  
Guttural groans and moans  
Quivers and body shivers  
I keep gorilla fucking her till I'm satisfied and thru  
Making her orgasm more than she has in ten years  
And right there I thought fuck  
I don't think this is gonna go the way I thought  
Sure enough  
There was the call  
Hey whats up You wanna go out  
I knew this was a date and not the friends and benefits we talked about  
We went out  
I needed some love  
Which after dinner  
In the car  
she milked my prostate and gave me some head  
Then whispered in my ear  words that still burn in my head  
I love you , i need you ,  
And I know you feel the same to  
I actually wasn't at the moment  
Thought to myself it's mediocre sex  
And didn't really care if you wanted to stop  
I was weak tho  
Broke my own rules like a fool  
I continued unable to give it up  
 Things got better and we progressed  
But sitting here feeling empty burdened with stress  
Anger pain hurt pounding my head  
I think I was dumb as fuck  
And should've trusted my gut  
It never lies to me but my dick always does  
Telling me  
Ya man this is a good idea  
You should totally fuck her  
You would be stupid not to  
What's the worst that could happen  
the bitch is just skitzo .  
But my gut  
My gut was like fuck no  
You dumb mother fucker turn away and go home  
But  
I didn't  
Now I'm her left thinking  
Was it all worth it  
Did she mean anything of it  
The promises  
The commitment  
The plans to get away  
Leaving this hell hole of shit  
I hate to feel like this  
Like this was all fake and just a mistake  
I know I have to put up walls now to get you away  
Your patterns of destruction  
And being vindictive  
Twisting words and being manipulative have pushed me away  
Somewhere I said I would be comfortable  
If you kept pushing me that way  
I'm fine with being alone  
Traveling the world solo  
Guess you need to think  
Do you believe what you say  
Or is it just pretty words you just use to keep playing your game ,