De Ja Vu

its starting again,
a hurricanes coming
but instead of a vicodin
I pick up a pen..
that tool is my shield..
It serves to protect and defend
on this battlefield..
that i'm in...
a battle I just can't win..
words
to physical abuse
to notifying my next of kin...

There's no reasoning or rationale
the next few hours
will haul you right down
kill your morale..
Which Is now at an all time low..
Its down and out on the floor
receiving blow after blow
Its Lifeless..
Like my dreams and aspirations..

Im trapped in a shell
encased in a capsule
hurtling through hell..
but no matter the speeds I attain
how far that I travel
the fact will remain
That the other side is beyond me..
unless..
this side is all i have ..

And if that's the case
and there's no other side..
It wouldn't matter
I wouldn't care
As my soul has already deteriorated
And died.