fear

sometimes hard not to be pessimistic in this world...most of my poems are dark....but you turn that suffering into art here...i love it...a real slice of soul...kisses-Jeff

thank you dearest Jeff what a beautiful comment bringing a smile to my face & making my night brighter :)

~Raven

Dear Raven,
your poem's narrator is not a pessimist; she or he sees self and world as they are; calls a spade a spade; brings misconceptions under the microscope of Logos and reveals the moving sand they are constructed on; claims for self the choice of painful realities over pretensions of "what a wonderful world"; strips self of spinned answers and stands naked as a subversive question mark. That's poetry's vigor! Bravo!

dearest Takis thank you for pointing that out to me.. I think you may be right while some still have rose colored glasses on mine were removed at a young age.. I have learned from experience to be as I am.. I deeply appreciate your deep insight & heartfelt comment..

~Raven

Well, to start off, this was a great pen, bearing that in mind, I always leave some helpful tips if I can. I loved the poem. But Im not to sure about your use of repetition in the beginning. It's staggered in a very odd way and it makes me feel scattered. The poetry flows, of course, but when you repeat the words in the way you did, I'm reading it like "what, you couldn't find a better word?"
I can understand using repetition for emphasis, but as a filler to make your poem longer, it kinda dulls the effect.
Positive takeaway time!
The beauty in this poem is unparalleled when you actually look at the meaning.
For some, it's easy to erite something beautiful, even if the reader cant quite get it, but youve managed to find beauty in a way that's easily understood. From the beginnning, we knew what we were getting into without you directly saying it. i think that's what poetry is all about. Keep writing.
With the sincerest critiques,

~ Midnight

thank you for the honest critique the repetition was for emphasis not for any other reason.. I deeply appreciate the time you took to analyze this write & for the lovely comment which made me smile..

~Raven

^~^
Of course. :)
If my comment genuinely helped you, then I did my job

~Midnight (You can call me Tryston if you'd like)

thank you Tryston :)

~Raven

You're most welcome. :)

~Tryston

Amazing write
The ending
"A false sense of security in an uncertain world"
Poetic genuis
Amazing job

thank you dearest poet for the love on this write..

~Raven

I will need to come up with a nickname for you dear Raven...

These lines gripped hold of my chest and have yet to let go...our circumstances I'm sure are not the same but the residual effects are...

"if not for them  
I may embrace all life has to offer  
instead my head is full of what if's  
always waiting for the worst"
~ only difference is I have always been the optimist but I am finding it hard these days..

Know you can be felt...and are heard..

xoxo Taryn

thank you dearest poetess yes fear is a real killer.. sorry you too can relate..

~Raven

this is so very sad - I feel your pain deeply - but you recognise it's source and you recognise its cause - the only thing left to do is stare it down and tell it to fuck off - sounds a bit crazy I know :-))))))

Hugssssssssssss :-))))))))))))))))))))))))))

thank you dearest poet for your love & understanding & deeply uplifting thoughts..

hugs ~Raven

"i am a wrecker of things"
^^^^^
gods, do i feel this, live this...
... the need to strike first
just in case i'm struck
*
you have a stunning pen, raven
xo

thank you beautiful poetess
for understanding me..

this is the deepest part of me
where I live..

that you feel & live this too
causes my heart to ache..

love & hugs..

~Raven