LOVE, HEARTBREAK & PERSEVERANCE

Do you remember that very first smile?
That very first look
That very first kiss
That left your world shook.
The first time we touched
The first time we laughed
The first time I held you
The first time we danced?

Remember sitting in your car
 Listening to our song
how I’d forget the words But you’d sing along.
Our very first date
The first place we ate
Where I said I liked you
And you called me babe.
Do you remember?

Sneaking out from that party
Like two on the run
No track of time or just where we had gone
Into the forest emotions so raw
Careless of who was around and who saw.
Frozen in time I looked into your eyes
My very next words came without a surprise
You knew it was coming and I knew it too
So worried to say it and what it would do
But I couldn’t resist a feeling so real
Too honest and pure to ignore and conceal
I wanted you to say it
But you made me go first
And that’s when it all just came out in a burst
I LOVE YOU...

And that’s when the moment just paused
Together forever and no longer lost.
It was perfect.
And when I close my eyes I can feel it.

From that moment on there was no going back
Filling the voids in our lives where it lacked
Holding the world in the palm of my hand
Cause you were my woman and I was your man.
Before we met
Your life was messy
My life was empty
You found your rock
And I found my safety
You found direction
I found a life
You found a purpose
And I found a wife.
Before you was a time I can barely remember
Except for the panic, anxiety and anger
But you brought me a calmness and peace
Together’s a place I could finally breathe
You taught me to relax, take life slow and enjoy it
Appreciate the moment cause that’s what’s important.
Our love was a place that was crazy
Now it’s a parking lot, vacant and empty.
But this is how you wanted it.
Despite all the times I tried to make you understand
That relationships are work
and to grow
you have to see them out to the end.
You say I’m always in my head
But how can I help that
As I lay alone in bed
Staring at the ceiling
Pacing down the halls
Wondering where you are, who you’re with and if you’ll call.

Okay fine.
You say that I’m crazy
Well if love is an offence then go ahead and commit me
 But you better find me guilty
Of passion, dedication, commitment and loyalty.
I still can’t believe what you did
Hell is a place I can now say I’ve been
Stranded alone with the walls caving in.
Then you decided to pack up and leave
Now I’m weak and can’t eat
Falling to my knees in the street
I dry heave
I look around, I ask for help
But words make no sense
My fists clench my muscles tense
My head spins
My stomachs sick
I can’t sleep, I can’t stand, I can’t sit
I’m pacing in a daze
My world is crashing down
Heavy on my shoulders is the weight
You’re killing me, I’m dying, no wait
This is torture, it’s slow and painful
and I can’t make it stop or go away
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!
How could you do this to us?

But that’s it.
No more memories it’s over.
From my number one
To giving the cold shoulder.
But that’s who you are
Now I have to move on and accept it
Regardless of feeling hurt, cheated and dejected
But I won’t let you break me
Cause I have the best friends in the world And a family who unconditionally loves me
I will forget your lies
And live with no regrets for how hard I ever tried
Because that’s who I am
And you don’t define me.
You became my addiction
And it actually kept me from thriving.
You told me to go find somebody perfect
No.
But I will find someone who’s worth it
Because perfection isn’t reality
An acceptance of differences is how it’s meant to be
Something that you could never do
But it was all I ever did for you.
And I don’t mean to cut you that deep
But the wounds you gave me
Haunt me in my sleep.
But with every sun down comes a sunrise
And my future is bright
Without room for compromise
you could have had me forever
but you opted for never
now take a good look
and maybe you’ll remember.