Being alive has its benefits 7.0

 
(i) The tree of Knowledge

Being alive has its benefits
The greatest of these is knowledge
The knowledge that you are not dead
The dead have no knowledge of anything
They don’t even know that they’re dead
Because they are dead

(ii) Smooching

Being alive has its benefits
Kisses are sensual, sexy
The feeling of lips moving
Round lips and tongue flicking
Frenchly are sexual fire starters
The dead are not good kissers
You end up having to do all the work
For little or no return and trust me
I’ve tried

(iii) Lie Down

Being alive has its benefits
In most situations
Nobody will force
You to lie flat in
A refrigerator
Or an incinerator
Or a wooden
Box with a silk
Interior and
Brass handles

(iv) Spoken Word

Being alive has its benefits
Conversation!
Have you ever
Tried to talk to
A dead person
It’s fuckin boring
I love the cut
And thrust of
A good debate
But the dead
Have nothing
To say, worth
Hearing
It’s a bit
Like talking to
A politician
Or a religious
Leader

(v) Cake Walk

Being alive has its benefits
You can go to the cake shop
Buy chocolate cake
Take it home alone
And sit eating the cake
And crying uncontrollably
This is good therapy
If your dead, you certainly
Lose bodily fluids, but
You can’t eat
Chocolate cake


(vi) Prayer

Being alive has its benefits
You can pray for stuff
Flat screen TV, an I-phone
The latest Play station
Sex from the church organist
World peace, an end to war
Shit! You can even pray for the dead
Once you’re dead it’s all too late
The die is cast
Judgement made
No virgins
No three wishes

(vii) Fat Shaming

Being alive has its benefits
You can go on a diet
Loose lots of weight
Go to the gym
Pump iron
Get fit
Look better on the beach
Get that bikini body
You so desire
The dead do loose weight
Quite a lot of weight
Without fat shaming
But it never makes them
Look any better
Or fitter