Where is the real one?

I’ve been in relationships I hated
I’ve been in a couple that I enjoyed
Shit I could’ve had a kid once upon a time,
Wonder if it would’ve been a boy?
I think about that still,
Every now and then
And her.
Since the split I never heard from her again.
No way we could’ve been friends
Surely that was the end.
Along in life we went on
I know deep inside u remember way back when.
I used to care for you.
Yeah I was there for you.
You wanna take your life?
Oh no I was scared for you.
And how dare you...
do me that way
oh well I can’t stay
Please go away,
And I cared for others after
Very recent to be in fact.
I loved her dearly yes.
But we just couldn’t connect like that.
Two totally separate souls
Heading down different paths,
Unable to see eye to eye.
Speak and compromise .
We were stubborn
Yes oh my.
That’s the story of my life.
I try and I try.
When it comes to love.
I still haven’t survived.
Not saying it’s a battle.
But I’m here to fight.
I need what is right.
What is right for me.
Maybe one that’ll write for me,
Yeah that would be nice to see.
A woman who can roll one and lay back, make memories and talk about how we made that,
Make a song or a freestyle
Yeah and play that
It’s funny envisioning something you might not even see
Be somewhere you might not ever be
But life is about making it happen
It’s not perfect
And shit...
It just happens.
I write poetry.
They say I should do some rapping.
Because no pun intended.
They say I be snapping.
Like a split pencil in half and..
I just go with the flow you know.
I just make it happen,
I like to relax and watch videos,
Vibe to music.
Especially ones that give me a mental reaction,
I just wanna be me.
And well that’s who I’ll be.
You cannot change me.
Leave me or take me.
I shall embrace the love that accepts and doesn’t reject because no disrespect
Im tired of the same old shit.
Where’s the one that doesn’t mind a little smoke,
Where’s the one that doesn’t mind a little joke
Where’s the one that likes to hear the shit I wrote
Or that the one that will even join and write
Or give me a poem as a surprise
I’m just saying.
She’s no where in sight.
And I might find her never.
And at this point it’s like...
Whatever...