Disorders

We live these fragile lives
Each with his own bottom line
How much pain do we take  
How many sacrifices must we make

I just want a normal day
Where I don't have to wonder what's true or fake
I'm past the point of playing games
 People making promises but then never change
They would rather lie and manipulate
Pointing fingers so quick to blame
Systematically growing for their own gain

It's just a game
And people are played
No care for their feelings
There just pawns that you play

Deep seeded hatred
that they keep locked stashed away
Brewing for years and decades
Never to see the light of day
Manifesting into personality disorders
That they try to keep locked away
Wearing masks to cope with the day
For fear of judgement and to feel the burn of shame

One day they look up
And don't even recognize their own face
Becoming everything they said they wouldn't be
 shocked and lost in misery's insecurities
Staring at them right in The face .

Some let it consume them
Darkening there days
Pushing the ones they love
 the farthest away

Others accept it
Understanding nobody's perfect
We all have are cross to bare

And they say
if you don't like me for me
Dark and neurotic me
Broken ,shattered me
 but not useless
still a soul slowly healing
   with love and respect
 then go fuck yourself
Because I'm enlightened as tits
At least I see the reality of life
And not some illusion of polished shit
Just lying to myself to get by
Pretending  everything is alright

Till everything I love withers and dies
I will stay solid
And be the logic
Because in the end
I'm the only one that pays for my sins
And I got enough of them trust me thousands
But one thing for sure
I'm not gonna fake it thru life to get by