Ghost Temp Agency part one

The Ghost Temp Agency is a strange concept to understand for "normal" living people, to be honest it does not make sense but exists regardless of the senslessness. An elderly concierge with a walking stick on his lap sits on the front desk of an exclusive office development near Victoria station. The building is large, it has a modern minimalist design and is constructed of mainly metal and glass. The gentleman has wrinkles across his clean shaven face, thinning grey hair combed neatly and faded regimental army tattoos on his shaking hands. He looks nervous and rocks back and forth while staring at a large white clock on the wall praying for his shift to end. He is a strong rational man but he is on anxiety medication  and receiving therapy due to his job, worse he is only paid minimum wage but needs it to supplement his meagre army pension.

Occasionally the front electric doors open with no one there, he clearly hears footsteps in the hall and on the stairs but cannot see anyone walking. Sometimes the lift is called for no reason, the button lights up as if pressed by someone and when this occurs the lift always travels to the top floor. Worse of all he can hear strange voices and breathing, sometimes invisible people say hello, good morning, apologise for being unable to sign in or ask for directions to the temp agency. He has checked the CCTV without success and reported the  issues to his supervisor who explained that it all stemmed from the top floor. The top level office had been rented by an illusive company called the Ghost Temp Agency for three years but the space remained empty. There were no desks, computers, stationery or paperwork and no one ever visited apart from the initial decoraters. The rent, utilities and other service charges were always paid on time so no one really cared. It was rumoured that the office was haunted, strange things happened and it had been decorated in an older Victorian style out of place in the modern building. The concierge and night watchman both refused to check the rooms alone or at night as it gave them a creepy feeling.

Pepsi was a ghost, he had heard about the agency from Star a fellow spirit he had met at a rock concert. A perk of being deceased is that you can see gigs for free, skip the waiting in line, look backstage and even stand in the middle of the stage doing air guitar in the middle of the show. Star was a roadie for a well known group, he died of an overdose on the road but still followed the band on worldwide tours. He told Pepsi that he needed to find an interest to focus on and occupy his mind rather than wasting his time. The agency could inspire him to find his calling and was recruting so he decided to visit them.

Haunting is a job with positions which ghosts apply for and choose to do, there is career progression, qualications and specialist professions. Spirits are not trapped on earth they simply decide to stay in this realm rather than move on, some just drift around endlessly while others want to work. Some ghosts haunt for fun, some because they are emotionally troubled and others because it enables them to communicate with the living. Spirits with an interest in history can work at castles, manor houses, museams, closed prisons and hospitals. They are given a job specification to follow and like an actor take on a role with a script and costume, they play a character such as an old soldier or maid. Some ghosts are part of the entertainment industry they play a variety of characters for mediums and ghost hunts, they appear on haunted tours and during readings. There are themed hotels that hire various ghosts to scare guests, others work at theme parks or fairs on ghost rides. A big employer are locations associated with crime scenes these spirits are not the actual victim or killer but a spirit impersonating them. Museams often use ghosts to enhance exibits and create an atmosphere.

The positions have varying responsibilitys some ghosts just change the temperature in the room and make their presence felt in a space. Others physically appear in a room and are temporarily visible to the living these require special training and must wear an approved costume. Some make noises ranging from groans, specific words to the most skilled who follow a script and hold full conversations. Qualifications are required to move objects and interact with the physical world. All ghosts undergo a vetting process in order to get their hands on a haunting licence without this they cannot work. Evil, morally corrupt or mentally disturbed spirts will not be employed and must move onto the spirit world. Members apply for a provisional licence at first and must pass the entrance requirements as well as a years probation. To obtain a full licence they need to pass an interview, test and review every five years.

Pepsi got lost and it took him hours to find the office meaning he had missed his appointment. He jumped as the electric doors opened and noticed it startled the living concierge. He saw a sign saying the office he needed to visit was on the fifth floor, he walked over and pressed the lift button to open the door. The man gasped as the door opened and asked " is anyone there? " Pepsi ignored him as he was late. The office was old fashioned and decorated like something out a Charles Dickens novel. There were huge desks, fountain pens and piles of paper the staff all wore smart clothes. A man in a suit with a top hat and moustache pointed him towards an old women without muttering a word. The woman wore a white blouse, cream suit and dark glasses she was writing notes on a piece of paper. When Pepsi tried to talk she held up a piece of paper which said "You are late, you missed the scheduled appointment and must wait to be called. Please take a seat." There was a solitary hard wooden seat propped against the wall. Pepsi sat and read a newspaper, he was forced to wait a whole hour. The woman then snapped her fingers and held up another piece of paper which stated " come over and bring the chair." The woman was miserable and refused to make eye contact she produced a document which included a list of questions. Before she asked the questions she read aloud a prewritten statement. "Dear Candidate, thank you for attending a selection interview for the London branch of the Ghost Temp Agency. We are the leading recruitment provider in the industry. We provide a range of prestigous clients with reliable temporary workers of the highest standard. Our temps cover haunting positions while permenant ghosts are attending courses, receiving treatment for mental problems, need a break away or if they move onto a new position. All applicants are required to apply for a provisional haunting licence and we will complete the relevant documentation. However you will need to satisfactorily complete a questioner, provide  references and sign a contract."

The woman cleared her throat and then began the interrogation. She asked " what what was your living human name?" he replied "John smith." The woman noted this and continued, "as you are aware all spirits pick a new name when they die. What is your spirit name?" he whispered  "Mr Pepsi Chips is my name." The woman put her pen down, "of all the names in the history of the world, why did you pick that?" He laughed and muttered " I picked my favourite drink and type of snack."

The woman enquired "when did you die and what was the cause of death?" Pepsi said " I died two years ago in an accident." The woman expressed her sympathy but asked him to be more specific. Pepsi gave more details " I watched an Action movie and decided to reenact a stunt which involved jumping from a bridge onto a moving train." The woman sighed but politely checked "what went wrong?" Pepsi blushed and said "I jumped too soon and got hit by a train."

The woman obviously did not care and requested to know "what was your occupation?  Pepsi smirked and commented:"while living I made a living as an actor and amateur stuntman." The woman seemed impressed, "what was your highest qualifications?"
Pepsi blushed and said " I was not academic and more athletic - Five metre swimming badge from primary school."  The woman raised an eyebrow "ok which sports did you participate in?" Pepsi ignored her for a few moments before muttering, "none I wasn't athletic either."

Thankfully  the woman changed the subject, "You died two years ago and still have not passed to the other side. Why?" Pepsi stated "All  my family and closest freinds are on the otherside. I don't want to see them or be reunited. I was always the black sheep."

The woman continued "apart from the obvious odour and obesity issues did you have any physical or mental problems?"  Pepsi replied sarcastically " I must have severe mental issues as I believe I am a ghost talking to another ghost about joining a ghost temp agency."

The woman ignored this and replied " as ghosts can travel across the world quickly and easily without expense where have you been?" Pepsi said, "nowhere I never left London."  The lady smirked and enquired " during your extensive journey across one whole city what did you do?" Pepsi ignored her sarcastic attitude and began listing the things he did " I have been to the Cinema everyday , hundreds of concerts, theatres, strip clubs,  major sporting events including the FA cup final, boxing world title fight and international friendlies at Wembley. I went sunbathing at parks, shoplifting at expensive stores and sleeping in the best hotels. I also complete a wide range of amazing stunts and am much better now as a spirit. It helps that I feel no pain, fear and cannot die."

The lady said, "You clearly have an active and fulfilling existence. Why do you want to work with us?" Pepsi thought for a while "I failed as an actor and stuntman in life. I couldn't even work for free, I never got the role I wanted even the extra parts.This is my chance to act." The woman replied "as you were late we are running out of time. Would you be willing to  adopt a new name and character for role, attend courses and follow a script?"  Pepsi nodded to confirm he would.

The woman remarked "lucky for you we are short  of recruits. Sign this document and we will call you. We will send you to a variety of placements to find your niche."
Pepsi signed the document and said "I feel like I am signing my life away." she said " You are already dead so can't sign your life away."

The end (for now).

(C) copyright, SimpleTon (2017)