deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Contest
There is a battle I’ll reveal
between two sides that want the same
happiness sought to fulfill
the breadth of life in expanse
there’s a brawl between soldiers
one below and one above
contending for the common ground
exacting ruin with each stroke
weaponized by good intent
the conflict wracks internal space
disrupting breath that I desire
choosing paths beyond the now
each engaged in my employ
taking turns to steer the course
if only they would pull as one
provoking calm instead of strife
drawing blood with each stroke
first the reason, then ardor
I’ll never know which is best
a thousand scratches on my soul
the same master requests both
to make peace instead of war
pull together against a world
that cares little for this contest
between the head and the heart
there’s a battle every day
happiness should be the goal
if the contest was not a duel.
© 2017. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20171017.
“The Contest” was inspired by the “Sex in the City” quote, “there’s a battle between what we know and what we feel”.
between two sides that want the same
happiness sought to fulfill
the breadth of life in expanse
there’s a brawl between soldiers
one below and one above
contending for the common ground
exacting ruin with each stroke
weaponized by good intent
the conflict wracks internal space
disrupting breath that I desire
choosing paths beyond the now
each engaged in my employ
taking turns to steer the course
if only they would pull as one
provoking calm instead of strife
drawing blood with each stroke
first the reason, then ardor
I’ll never know which is best
a thousand scratches on my soul
the same master requests both
to make peace instead of war
pull together against a world
that cares little for this contest
between the head and the heart
there’s a battle every day
happiness should be the goal
if the contest was not a duel.
© 2017. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20171017.
“The Contest” was inspired by the “Sex in the City” quote, “there’s a battle between what we know and what we feel”.
Published 18th Oct 2017
| Edited 19th Oct 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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19th Oct 2017 3:18am
i really like your ability in maintaining a consistent metaphor through 7 stanzas. it's really enjoyable. and, although i haven't watched Sex and the City, i'm glad you provided the quote; even on its own, it's something to think about.
most of the stanzas consisted of two 7-syllable lines and two 8-syllable lines with pretty even rhythm/stress, and the times it deviates from this drew my attention (such as the final stanza, in which only the final line is 8 syllables; 5th stanza, in which the first line is 6 syllables). maybe this was intentional, and if that's the case, nice work. by the way, in the last line, did you mean to say "duel"? i was unsure if it were a play on words.
but on the opposite side, there were a couple of times when the stress and rhythm changed suddenly that felt just a bit jarring when reading it (lines 18 and 24 come to mind), before it returned to its previous rhythm.
in any case, this was a real pleasure to read, and i'm saving that quote
most of the stanzas consisted of two 7-syllable lines and two 8-syllable lines with pretty even rhythm/stress, and the times it deviates from this drew my attention (such as the final stanza, in which only the final line is 8 syllables; 5th stanza, in which the first line is 6 syllables). maybe this was intentional, and if that's the case, nice work. by the way, in the last line, did you mean to say "duel"? i was unsure if it were a play on words.
but on the opposite side, there were a couple of times when the stress and rhythm changed suddenly that felt just a bit jarring when reading it (lines 18 and 24 come to mind), before it returned to its previous rhythm.
in any case, this was a real pleasure to read, and i'm saving that quote
19th Oct 2017 5:42am
I did mean duel! Thank you for pointing that out. Duly corrected! The 18h line, with its comma, is a bit jarring. It speaks to the diametric relationship, so in a way, it's fitting. I tweaked the 24th line. "For" replaced "of". It now flows slightly better. I do write in a lyrical format, with an emphasis on lines with about 8-syllables. The resulting poems do typically "flow", with alliteration and rhyming featured in (hopefully) subtle ways.
