Mechanical God

Mister Minister
 
Can you assist me?
You see...
I'm burnin
With sin
I try to drown it in
Pints of gin
But that only makes this lustful fire
Burn even higher
Can you help me...
Before it starts again?
 
Mister Minister...
 
See..I thought I came here to here to seek refuge
But I'm a little confused...
Am I at church or still out clubbin?
Cuz I swear some of these women are dressed like
They been out all night rubbin on dicks
Dubbin to Reggae and hip-hop
Makin that ass drop and that coochie pop....
Damn....did they ever stop to think
Maybe they took it a little too far
Misinterpreting the meanin of 'cum as you are' [ahem..come]
Makin my dick rise when all I came here for was some
Fellowship and praise...
Lord knows I need some help
 
Mister Minister...
 
I tried to listen to your point of view
But as I look around in the pew and the choir
All I see is a bunch of hypocrites and liars
Mired in endless gossip and rumors
But the real humor in all this
Stems from the fact that I done
Seen some of these holier-than-thou whores  
Perform miracles behind closed doors
Speakin in tongues  
Hungover from body shakin orgasmic revelations
Goin from 'OH GAWD' mixed with late night curses
To 'YASS LAWD' seasoned in their Sunday mornin verses
Act one..act two..
Encore! encore!!
After service I think we'll hit the liquor store
Before I take her back to the crib to service that ass
Some more...
  
Mister Minister
 
I've come for your blessings
No!.... I'm not repenting
Just confessing
So just tap me on the head
And tell me once again why Jesus bled
Yep...It seems I've been redeemed
Just cash in my sins like 5 cent bottles and cans
Every Sunday just leave some change in your collection pan
Cha-ching..
Dept paid in full
Now I'll sit here and listen to your bull
See..game recognize game
You've been preyin on our shame
While we've been prayin for the Lord to keep us tame
But it all ends up the same no?...
Ain't no verses in that book to convince my nature not to rise
Ain't no verses to sooth a woman
As she squeeze a pillow between her thighs
Who hears her midnight sighs?
So let's all sing and praise in vain
Knowin last night we done came in someone's mouth
And not necessarily the one we brought with us
To the Lord's house
Were we really that weak?
Or did nature speak?
 
Ahhh who gives a fuck?...we do evidently...
 
Mister Minister
 
If Jesus died for our sins
I should be able to screw without guilt yes?
I'm still welcomed in the house the Lord built yes?
Still blessed aren't I?
Yeah I know...
Six days out of the week I done fucked up...
Acted a fool and broke nearly all the rules
No doubt I've been a bad bad boy
So just hit me with one of those verses
And wind me up like a wooden toy
Tell me if I keep praisin him
My afterlife will be filled with bliss and joy
Boy 'o boy do I really need to hear those words
So please fix me up with your toolbox-bible
Tell me in advance that I'm forgiven
So I won't be held liable for all the shit I know I'm
Gonna do from Monday through Saturday
 
Thank you Mister Minister...thank you
And God bless...