deepundergroundpoetry.com
My inside voice
Heart beating
Palms all sweaty
Blurry vision
But I see The distance Is near
Im Healing outside slowly dyeing inside
I wanna run but I stand still
Venting doesn't help anymore
Neither does writing
Why did I ever let go
The fear I feared won over me
Someone tell me what am I supposed to do
I can't stop listening to talking to the moon on rewind..
I feel you Bruno mars I wish the moon talked back too!!!
Palms all sweaty
Blurry vision
But I see The distance Is near
Im Healing outside slowly dyeing inside
I wanna run but I stand still
Venting doesn't help anymore
Neither does writing
Why did I ever let go
The fear I feared won over me
Someone tell me what am I supposed to do
I can't stop listening to talking to the moon on rewind..
I feel you Bruno mars I wish the moon talked back too!!!
Published 14th Sep 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
14th Sep 2011 2:20am
....secondly, there is forgiveness, surrender, putting pride aside if it will help the pain subside. Mmmmmm.........I've been here before; would love to tell you the story. How I still have the number on speed dial 3 years after smh
How I've called and when I hear her voice, I hang up because the last convo ended so badly. Wow.....
........let me stop this. This one (plus Bruno's song) has got me slippin'.
This is regardless, a wonderful, heart felt poem that so many can relate to. If this is where your heart is, this too shall pass....
How I've called and when I hear her voice, I hang up because the last convo ended so badly. Wow.....
........let me stop this. This one (plus Bruno's song) has got me slippin'.
This is regardless, a wonderful, heart felt poem that so many can relate to. If this is where your heart is, this too shall pass....
14th Sep 2011 3:06am
14th Sep 2011 2:26am
14th Sep 2011 3:07am
Anonymous
- Edited 11th Jun 2018 12:45pm
14th Sep 2011 4:36pm
<< post removed >>
14th Sep 2011 8:00pm
Have you heard of L.S.D? it's great for having convo's with the moon!
dying*
good heart felt writing G,g.
couple of lines didn't sit right with me.
"But I see The distance Is near"
this one i wasn't so sure about because of the caps and the break in the line.Distance and near are kind of opposite.though ii know what you are putting across.
"but i can see light in the distance" would be my suggestion.
"The fear I feared won over me "
this one too i kind of felt came up short compared with the rest of the lines.again you did get the message across though.
"The fear, I fear consumed me" would be my suggestion here, i took out the feared because i figured you said that with fear.
anyhoo these are just suggestions,hope you don't mind.
great stuff!.
dying*
good heart felt writing G,g.
couple of lines didn't sit right with me.
"But I see The distance Is near"
this one i wasn't so sure about because of the caps and the break in the line.Distance and near are kind of opposite.though ii know what you are putting across.
"but i can see light in the distance" would be my suggestion.
"The fear I feared won over me "
this one too i kind of felt came up short compared with the rest of the lines.again you did get the message across though.
"The fear, I fear consumed me" would be my suggestion here, i took out the feared because i figured you said that with fear.
anyhoo these are just suggestions,hope you don't mind.
great stuff!.
1st Oct 2011 4:28am
1st Dec 2012 1:45pm
4th Dec 2012 10:50pm
