10 Things you should know about me 1.0

 
1.

I am impotent
I am kinda like
A rhinoceros
Without the horn

2.

I have an eye for the ladies
Which I take out and polish
Every night

3.

My teeth are all my own
Technically that wasn’t true
I also take them out and polish
Them every night
But they are mine
Unless you want to try
Them for size

4.

I have the heart of a lion
And the balls of a poet
Which makes interesting
Reading; lots of roaring
And things that rhyme
With Gonads

5.

I have hatred for haters
And those who hate
Even if they hate the haters
Hating with hate for haters
Should not be hated
And I hate anyone with hatred
That hates this poem

6.

I used to be a boxer
A boxer dog that is
I was forever humping
Other peoples legs
But then; I couldn’t
Hump my own legs
Could I?
Go on, go on
Tickle my tummy

7.

I am missing both my legs
They’ve been gone a while
They never write
They never phone
Not even a postcard
Wish they were here!

8.

I am my own worst enemy
I am forever slapping the
Shit out of myself
And calling me names
Bad names
Both C words

9.

I never eat my greens
Despite all the posturing
Of others, despite the
Nagging;
“Eat up your greens
Eat up your greens!”
Personally I prefer
To blow them into
A handkerchief

10.

I have decided that my new
Gender identification is as
A basket of fruit
I will expect you
To use the correct
Pronouns from now on
Berry
Compote
Peel

And

Tangerine

Thank you