Devils in my ear

Sometimes I feel like I don't belong
Like all I'm doing is just a waste
That life is futile and not worth the chase

I have no rest
 just empty feelings inside my chest
Thoughts of suicide and if its best
To end this race that I'm in last

So many nightmares I can never sleep
And when I do it feels like just a wink
the hours and days blend into weeks
And I can't remember a goddamn thing

Is this life ? Or is it just me
Life seems pointless and always bleek
Happiness held for just a brief second
To then be taken suddenly with out even notice

It all seems hopeless
And I don't want to relapse
But life has me cornered
  and I'm on the attack
 Fighting the angels and devils
That stand on my back