deepundergroundpoetry.com
PAGES OF NIHIL : ADUST
Sky fell upon the ground
It was louder than sound
Pain of sight to adjust
All I had, adust
Saw the idle hour pass
In the midst of a trance
Those walls once embellished us
That lay now, adust
Sought words of comfort
From those shapes now inert
All trussed by metal and rust
Flesh odour, adust
A tautening leech of breath
This embrace with death
Comes a sulphuric gust
The earth weeps, adust
Disquieting rays of dawn
Our asylum is gone
It's for the end I lust
Of life, made adust
Published 18th Sep 2017
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10th Oct 2017 00:47am
Not only a clever piece of work, Ubi; but also a very resonant one. The scenario which ya'v so graphically desribed may well be experienced by certain inhabitants of this planet in the foreseeable future (they of the leeched breath).
Yer Poem also alerted me to the possibility that a whole new meaning could, these days, be attributed to the old adage: 'From dust were ye made, and dust ye shall be'. For some, maybe sooner than was thought!
Some parts of yer piece reminded me of a Sassoon poem describing a gas-attack on a platoon of soldiers in the 1st world-war. Very vividly described . . almost tangible.
I hope ya don't mind me saying that I've got an overwhelming notion to swap the word 'embellished' for 'enveloped'.
A quality poem, Ubi: it contains everything that poetry should contain. Hence, I feel compelled to read some more of yer stuff.
Let's hope we continue to have fresh air to breathe . . .
Yer Poem also alerted me to the possibility that a whole new meaning could, these days, be attributed to the old adage: 'From dust were ye made, and dust ye shall be'. For some, maybe sooner than was thought!
Some parts of yer piece reminded me of a Sassoon poem describing a gas-attack on a platoon of soldiers in the 1st world-war. Very vividly described . . almost tangible.
I hope ya don't mind me saying that I've got an overwhelming notion to swap the word 'embellished' for 'enveloped'.
A quality poem, Ubi: it contains everything that poetry should contain. Hence, I feel compelled to read some more of yer stuff.
Let's hope we continue to have fresh air to breathe . . .
