Sinner

When I speak it's like ya'll don't hear why I feel like God don't care why I feel like I ain't good as no one else I'm searching but my pride ain't there I just feel like life ain't fair my boy got shot, died right there
but me, I died twice and came back to life
So tell me how can I be scared why do I gotta doubt myself all I ever do is doubt myself drink liquor until the head gets consumed by the pint, likeI don't care about my health really I'm just trying to numb the pain love and hate it all just feels the same won't say I'm affected by the fame but even my momma know I changed

So I get drunk until I can't feel the love fake, the pain real got so many scars it ain't heal but I gotta soul bullets can't kill
why I feel like cops just want to pop me
pop's never had a pot to piss in
probably pack a nine on his hip then sit beside me pray to God there's no triple six inside me I said pray to God there's no 666 inside me no I can't let the devil in my mind same time the church will turn you blind last time I heard a preacher preach a sermon all I heard him say was sinner's going die and they will never get to see a heaven
With all due respect fuck the reverend
cause I know life was doing 25
praying for early death like it's a blessing
this for my people going through depression this for the kids who never felt affection this for the kids whose parents don't accept them saying they love everyone else except them

I know what it's like to feel alone I know what it's like to need a home I know what it's like to not know what it's like to have a love you can call your own see I done tried every single fucking drug on that shelf trust me man it don't help I just feel like I'm losing myself Why I feel like love don't last things change when you move so fast Iwas trying to focus on us in the future you was focused on my Past if you left I would lose my soul promise me that you won't let go see I just need love it's funny I got all money but my heart still broke

So many times I said I'ma change just to turn around and do the same same shit that's been putting you in Pain I know I'm the only one to blame so I get Drunk until I can't see I love you, but I hate me said I love you but I hate me trying to be someone I can't be and I ain't been myself lately why I feel like I'm the only one that got me you could take the same 45 that shot me pop the clip in, cock it back and put that motherfucker to my head you'll never stop me yeah I be living life on the edge SUICIDE all in my head why the world don't care about no one else's life until they already dead

 I just wish pops was back to how he was
cause he ain't been the same since the drugs and I ain't been the same since he said the worst form of pain is not being loved so we use the drugs they gave to us
tp replace the love the world takes from us lately I don't even know who to trust
they saying even Satan was an angel once so I can't feel shit, so numb that I can't feel shit living just to die we dying just to live this life it doesn't make no sense see I done tried every single fucking drug on that shelf trust me man it don't help I just feel like I'm losing myself